Its 5pm

And I've started drinking. Hell. I deserve it. My weekends are borderline non-existent at this point. Not going out Thursday is tolerable, but having to stay in on Fridays to get up and run the next day is another issue entirely. So it's five o'clock, I ran eight miles, and I'm ready to drink. I mean, sure, I'm in the process of cleaning my room, doing laundry, and perhaps working on my script for Writing the Sitcom, but I can do that while drinking. A mature adult can handle drinking while accomplishing other tasks in their daily life. Or maybe that's not a mature adult, maybe that's a good alcoholic. But still, I'd rather be a good alcoholic than a bad one.

I think there are three main rules to abide by in order to not become an alcoholic. No drinking on weeknights (Thursday not withstanding), not drinking before 7pm, and not drinking alone. I suppose that I am guilty of two of those right now, but the fact that I ran eight miles as part of my goal to run a half marathon and raise $3,900 for Leukemia is sure to grant me some sort of alcoholic amnesty.

I Love LA

I was about a half hour late for Urban Geography yesterday. I was walking Shilo and on our way back inside, she randomly sat down in the grass. So I sat down with her. It was a beautiful Fall day and I had absolutely no motivation to get to class on time. I just wanted to lay there and stare at the sky all day. I didn't though. Even when doing such things as letting my mind wander, I get too restless. So I brushed the leaves off my bottom and went to class.

I just signed up for my Spring Semester classes.

Writer's Roundtable in LA
Pitching Series Concept in LA
Analyzing Sitcom Structure in LA
Conceiving and Writing the Sitcom Show Bible in LA

In case you still haven't caught on...I decided to do the Comedy program in the Spring. Sure, it'll be inconvenient on many, many levels. I still have to pay rent in Chicago. I have to come back for classes in the summer. I can't take an improv class right away next semester. I can't go to New Orleans with ReachOut. However, this program is a chance for me to see what it's like to do EXACTLY what I want to do as a career, so I can't sacrifice that.

I talked to my parents about it. They're cool.

I'll be there from Feburary 15th-March 30th. Then, it's back to Chicago for Summer classes. However, if something amazing came up and it was between a great opportunity in LA or back to Chicago to finish up three summer classes, there's a very real possibility that I would put college on hold.

Commerce

So we're halfway through the semester, and I just discovered that my roommate is taking the same class as me. He has it Wednesday mornings, and I have it Wednesday afternoons, 40 minutes after him. Just goes to show how much communication means to me.

Semester in LA....Spring or Summer? Spring or Summer? Comedy or Drama? I can't freaking decide. They both have so many pros and cons, which I continue to recite inside my head ad nauseam, that I don't know how I'll ever decide. I do know that getting advice from people is absolutely useless. Whatever a person says, I disagree with. If they say do Spring, I decide I want to do summer. If they say Summer, then it's vice versa. And if they don't give me a straight answer and say that either way is fine, I snap at them for pointing out the obvious. So...basically, please don't post a comment trying to give me advice. I am not in a place right now where I can handle advice.

What am I doing writing a blog right now? I have to finish my commerce paper. I have to revise and print my spec for It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (which was just renewed for a third season! 15 episodes next summer! Now my spec isn't worthless!) plus I have to do more work on characters for Leper High. I was tempted to post part of my Leper High script, but I decided against in on the grounds that it would be considered too self-indulgent. If you're interested, let me know and I'll do it.

Chapter 10: Killing Time at the LCP: The Month Before The Mouse

I left Kalamazoo. My roommates were doing a bang-up job of giving me reasons for justifiable homicide, and getting the hell out of that house was the best thing I could do in order to ensure everyone's safety. I can't imagine what life would have been like if I stayed in Kalamazoo. Where would I be right now? Probably living back at home with my parents, still in debt from being convicted of criminal negligence because I accidentally burnt the house down when I made a grilled cheese drunk at 3 in the afternoon on a Wednesday. I hated my house, hated school, and hated myself. I had some good friends though. Friends that I really miss today. But I needed to escape. So I came across a flyer for the Walt Disney World College Program and a few months later, I moved to Orlando, Florida. However, I'm getting ahead of myself. This isn't about Disney. This is about the month in between Kalamazoo and Orlando.

This is a hard chapter to write. Not because I went through some sort of emotional difficulty or any type of hard time. I was not battling clinical depression and I did not have an eating disorder. Life was fine. I was a little nervous, what with the moving away all by myself coming up, but that's not why this is a hard chapter to write. The reason this isn't easy is simple:

I worked at a pizza place for a month over Christmas break.

There. Basically I just gave you all there is to know about my time at Little Caesar's Pizza. How do I create a whole chapter of it? I'll try my best to put a spin on it. Perhaps I'll make my boss a cross dresser in a wheelchair. And instead of a pizza place, it's a brothel. There! Now things are really coming along. It's a well-known rule of writing that you should never tell your audience how boring the subject matter ahead is going to be. That's just telling them to stop reading. You've probably already quit. Or you're close to it. Or you've decided to start cooking while continuing with this chapter, because you've got a lot to do today and don't have time to just sit and read.

Well, now that I've spent a good amount of paragraphs talking about things of absolutely no relevance, I guess we can begin.

I was leaving for Disney on January 28th, 2004. But I came home from WMU at the beginning of December. I felt the need to get a job at this point, to keep myself from going crazy. What would I do all day for two months besides obsess over whether or not I made the right decision, make lengthy lists of things to take to Florida that I didn't actually need, and talk to my friends back at WMU as they poured on the guilt of which I'm highly susceptible as it is. So, I set out to find a job. By pooling my various resources, I happened upon one rather quickly. Brynne, the same Brynne from Twist & Shout, happened to be working at Little Caesar's and said she could probably get me a job. Now, had we told the managers right away that I would only be working there for about a month, I doubt I would have gotten the job. But by saying that I had left school for an internship but was staying home instead not only provided a great excuse for why I left college, but also opened the door for when I did quit to go to Disney. That was Brynne's genius right there. I take no credit.

I started on Christmas Eve. That was no problem. I think I've worked on Christmas Eve almost every year since I was fourteen. Twist and Shout, Best Buy, and PacSun all had me working on Christmas Eve. It's really not that bad. My family doesn't come over until around 5:00 anyway, and most places close early on Christmas Eve, so I would be back in time regardless. Working on New Year's Eve was a little bit harder. Not only because I received drunken phone calls every fifteen minutes from one of my friends asking why I didn't go back to Kalamazoo that night, but also because the guy I was working with was socially awkward and just plain weird. It was not a night to remember.

Work was easy. Make pizza. Sell pizza. Make more pizza. Sell it. Make one to eat. Eat it. The best part of the day was when we would lay pizza boxes on the ground (because the ground was nasty) and sleep on them. The worst part was when I had to be there at 7am to make like 100 pizzas which had to be taken to the local elementary schools. You know how on pizza day every slice always had three pepperonis on it? That was no happy accident. Three very tired, possibly hungover, and extremely lazy underachievers had to get up when it was still dark out just to do that.

So time stood still for about a month while I worked at Little Caesar's. Aside from work, life wasn't bad. We took a lot of trips to Canada and drank a lot. That always passes the time. A little less than a week before I moved to Florida, I finally told the boss I was quitting. Well, I left him a note. I never liked confrontation when it comes to quitting jobs. But I did do the very responsible thing of coming in after he left the next day to ask Brynne if he read it. See? It's important to be mature when working in a professional atmosphere.

And that was Little Caesar's.

Ow!

So I was running today. Eight miles, actually. I remember when I first started training, and running four miles was intimidating enough as it is. Now I'm on eight? Since when was I the kind of person who can run even SIX miles and not think anything of it?

Anyway, I got hit by a golf ball. I was up around Irving Park on the Lake Shore running path, which is right by a golf course. Out of nowhere, a golf ball comes flying at me and hits me in the thumb and chest. My thumb still hurts pretty bad, and my chest had a bruise. I looked around to see where it came from. Being consistently picked on and made fun of when I was younger, my first reaction whenever anything like this happens (not that I get pelted with golf balls a great deal, but any sort of anonymous harm) is that somebody did it on purpose. Don't ask me why. It's not because I'm conceited and think the world revolves around me. More or less, I think that somebody better than me is somehow out to get me. Don't ask me why. Self-esteem issues, I suppose. Anyway, that sort of feeling is always fleeting, and this case was no exception. I looked over to the golf course and saw the culprit, waving his hand apologetically. Well, not even apologetically, it looked more like he was waving to say "Hello!" but "apologetically" is not only a big word, but gives a sense of payoff to the story.

I kept the golf ball. I have no idea why. I ran up to Wilson and on my way back I knew that this was the spot where I got hit. So I looked for it and sure enough, found that sucker in the grass. It's a Nike one too. Probably made by kids in a sweatshop. The bastard endorses sweatshops AND he unapologetic ally aims to pelt innocent passers-by with golf balls!

I decided I was going to take the ball to Florida. I mean, it's kind of funny. I'm training for this run and out of nowhere I get beamed with a golf ball. Watching it from an outside perspective (or, apparently, even from the perspective of the guy who hit me) had to be pretty funny. Not really America's Home Videos funny, since the ball didn't hit me in the groin. But funny nonetheless.

There was really no rhyme or reason (I don't understand this phrase. What kind of "rhyme" would there be?) to why I kept it and decided to take it with me to Disney World. I just wanted to. Or wait...maybe there is a reason...



A mu'fuckin' golf ball. I worked under that thing for 8 months, you know. Most boring ride in the history of the world. More boring than waiting in line to pay for a toll road.

Someone Crazy Is Coming In Today

I'm at work awaiting a confrontation with a crazy person.

I haven't eaten all day today. My stomach grumbled for fifteen seconds straight. I counted it. I need to grocery shop. Tonight, maybe.

My TV Program Development teacher loves Leper High. The whole class does.

My Writing The Sitcom teacher hates it. I wanted to kill two birds with one stone and use that same show idea for both classes, guess I can't do that. I have a good one for Writing the Sitcom though, so it's cool.

Jenny is right. Breakfast is very important, and I need to stock up on more oatmeal and yogurt, cause that's what gets me up in the morning. I'm not a morning person at all, but I need something in my tum-tum. Even if it's just a yoplait.

It's weird that I'm still going to be at Columbia next semester, and next summer even, but I'm not signing up for Spring classes. I really really want to, because I love doing it, but it seems likely I'll be doing Semester in LA, so no Oasis for me. It's okay though, by the time Spring Orientation is over I'll be so sick of making people's schedules anyway.

I need to make sure I can still walk even if I need to take three summer classes. I know at WMU you can. I'll be damned if I miss out on graduating at Navy Pier. Especially since it's the one and only year that this will happen.

I am STARVING.

This is Halloween

I think this picture really sums up my Saturday night. It was Cam's party. The whole gang went, which was nice because I haven't really had a chance to party with everyone in such a long time, so this was very much needed. The party itself...well I don't think it was very exciting or eventful...but I definitely had consumed enough alcohol that even standing in line at the DMV would have felt like the Thanksgiving Parade, so I was in good spirits. Around 1am or so, things really got crazy. By the time we left the party at 2, Maggie and I were pretty much unleashed on the town, and boy was it a shit show.

Highlights-
-Jess Dangles spanking me with her whip and yelling "This is what slavery is like!"
-Maggie doing yoga in the middle of a party
-Elroy humping Wenda
-Going up to every single person I encountered that night and saying "I didn't know you were coming tonight!" over and over and over.
-Stealing a pumpkin decoration from Clark's
-Kicking a hole in someone's iPod costume
-Finding a Spiderman mask and telling Maggie to put it on. She did.
-This:

I REFUSED to get off of that tire until somebody took my picture. Luckily Kate jumped up and joined me, otherwise this moment would have been long forgotten.
-Stepping on a girls foot and getting punched
-Getting inexplicably mad at someone dressed as the game Twister and telling everyone at the burrito place how much they sucked
-Trying to piss off every stranger I met
-Giving the Mexican guy at the burrito place 20 dollars for change and him walking away, then coming back acting like I never gave him a 20.
-Shielding Maggie while she pee'd in a doorway right on the corner of Halsted and Belmont
-The plethora of stupid things we did but I will never remember.

Ohhh I love Halloween. I wanted to dress up again tonight but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen. I'll probably head over to the Diversey house and watch a scary movie with everyone. What a good way to spend Halloween, though.

This week is busier than usual because I have to plan and host an Open Forum for the television department. Basically I need to reserve a room, order food, and get people to come, so it's not exactly planning Princess Diana's wedding, but it's still an unwelcome addition to the already large list of things to do.

For Writing the Sitcom I have to come up with two show ideas. I had a GREAT idea for a show about this guy who is basically fate's bitch. He receives assignments that cause him to change the course of other people's lives in big ways. Make people fall in love, get rich, die, etc. Well, I thought it was a great idea. And so did the creators of "Wonderfalls," a show on Fox about the EXACT. SAME. THING. The show was critically acclaimed though, so at least I'm sniffing up the right tree.

Now it's time to get some reading done for Urban Geography so I'm not completely overwhelmed at 11 pm after the movie when I still have a ton of homework to do.

And that's that.

His Boy Elroy

7 out of 10 people on average seem to be able to figure out I'm Elroy Jetson. The other 3 always think I'm a train conductor, and offer an enthusiastic "Choo Choo!"

I'm not a train conductor...but maybe next year. It would be nice to get more use out of these overalls...actually no, it wouldn't. They are way too snug for my own liking. So scratch that. I'm loving being Elroy though. Check out the hat. See the antenna? ELROY!

I'm getting sick again. Not that I've been sick before, but I've been "getting sick" before. I seem to take care of myself well enough to the point where I am almost constantly at a state of almost-sickness, but never actually sick. I didn't get up early to run this morning, which pisses me off because that is why I went to bed early last night and didn't stay at Jacob's Halloween party, but I still plan on running today. In a little bit, after I finish cleaning my room and make some pasta. I'm drinking Airborne water right now, so that should take about six hours for me to finish choking down, then it's go time.

I'm going to LA next semester instead of in the summer. I think. I'm crossing my fingers that I get into the program. I met the guy who teaches the classes out there, and a few of us even got to go to dinner with him, and he made it sound like anyone who applies and wants to go generally gets to go. Here's hoping...

My plan had always been finish up at Columbia in the Spring Semester, then do Semester in LA in the summer for Writing the One-Hour Drama. That way, I'm done with school and I don't have to come back for school and if any good opportunities arise, I can nab them without worrying about coming back to finishing school.

The problem arose when I realized that I am a comedy person. Sure, Off The Clock is written as a one-hour drama, but it's still more a comedy than anything else. And I need to continue this. I love one-hours, I really do. A lot. I'm obsessed with so many of them. But what I'm good at writing is funny. And the best part is, our classes are on the CBS lot, which industry people call "Sitcom University." How can I pass that up? But the comedy program is in the spring. So...my new plan is Semester in LA in the Spring (it's basically just the month of March, so it's not a huge deal) then come back for Summer classes, then probably go back to LA and find something through the contacts and friendships I've built through the spring program. My biggest issue is still that I have to leave LA. What if I get an awesome job offer? Or a paid internship? Then what? Well that's a road I'll cross when I get there. Many people, even the chair of the TV Department, said to do the comedy program and come back to finish school. So the bad news is you'll have no Steve for all of March. The good news is you'll have me all summer long!

Two Years Running

For the second year in a row, I got a "Who's Who in American Colleges" award. Which is kind of strange, but I suppose I do kind of do a lot more on campus than most people. It doesn't really mean all that much. I get a certificate, which I give to my mom, and my name gets put in an overpriced book that nobody buys except for insane parents of other students whose names are mentioned. The only real benefit, aside from picking up girls at parties, will be to put it on my resume.

I hate cheesy transitions. So instead of starting paragraph number two with "Speaking of resumes..." I'm going get right to it. I actually will be updating my resume soon, because I'm going to apply for an internship at CEO Exchange, a show that's filmed in Chicago at WTTW. I need four more credit hours of TV classes and a think an internship would really be the best way to go with that, so I can get some more real life experience. Also, I'd be working right by Maggie, which would be all sorts of counterproductive.

I've kind of gotten used to the whole concept of being busy, and so I have no intentions of taking it easy next semester. Sure, things will be a little lighter. I won't be walking the dog anymore, which means I won't feel rushed every afternoon as I try to get to Streeterville and back in less than an hour. And I'll have finished the half marathon, so I will actually be able to go out two nights out of the week instead of one. Oh, I'll still be a runner though. But getting up at 7am to run 8 miles on a Saturday morning? Check the box that says "things I can live without."

I'll be a part time student, somewhat. With the internship I'd still be considered full-time, with 12 credit hours, but only three classes. One acting class and two gen eds. I can take any gen ed whatsoever. Anyone wanna take a class with me? Something fun, though, My days of Descartes and inorganic compouds are over. I'm talking History of Chicago or Candy Tasting Seminar. Then of course there's work. I'll continue at Student Affairs, because it's just so convenient, and something like 20 hours a week is actually just the right amount of money to keep from going broke but not terribly stressful. In fact I've actually saved a little bit of money.

So that's not exactly a cake walk, but it's a step down from where I'm at now. Cake walk? What's that supposed to mean, anyway? Not stressful? Untrue. Cake walks can be extremely stressful. It's like musical chairs, but there's even more at stake. And when you win, you have to carry a cake around all night, and that pretty much puts a damper on any plans you may have had, especially if you wated to go out after.

Today in Improv, the musical director from Second City came and we did improv singing. Kind of like the games they play on "Who's Line Is It Anyway." We would start a short little improv scene and as soon as the teacher started playing the piano, whatever you were talking about, you had to burst out into song. It was actually a lot of fun, despite the fact that I don't sing. I've really come to realize how much I love improv. I definitely want to continue studying it. Next semester I'd like to take another class, maybe at Second City even. I think it's one of the few things in the world that I'm actually capable of, and with some formal training, who knows.

Okay I really need to get started on homework.

Oh Blogger, I just wanna stickwhitchu

I thought about going over to myspace and do my blogging from there. That way all my myspace friends can easily read what I have to say, and what not. But I changed my mind. Unless you have sever artheritis of the finger, or that weird disease that the kid on Nip/Tuck has, then clicking over to Blogger shouldn't be too arduent of a task.

I want to apologize to Dani. I said I'd have Chapter 10 done by the end of the week. Not only is that going to be delayed indefinitely, but I can't even provide an estimated date to expect that. This must be how JK Rowling feels when she's writing Harry Potter.



So...Chapter 10 is being written. It's just a hard one to write. Because I was only there for a month. And there was nothing interesting about it. In fact, I'd use the term "nothing to write home about," but there's too much irony in that.

I went grocery shopping today and realized how healthy I eat now. Well maybe not exactly healthy, but I don't eat junk. I get Wheat Thins instead of chips, yogurt instead of cookies, and it never even crosses my mind to get pop. And I always make sure to buy at least two kinds of fruit and two kinds of vegetables. Today I got a pomegranete which I had to google how to eat because every time I've tried I make a huge mess. My only weakness when it comes to food I don't need is chips and salsa. I love my chips and salsa and that's not going to change. Ever.

The fundraising is going well. I'm at $1,400, but that's still not halfway. We do, however, have a date and time for the benefit. It's November 16th at Pint from 8-11. I'm really excited for this. Even if I don't make that much money, it's cool to be able to say I co-hosted a benefit for Leukemia, and would probably look good on a resmue if I was ever going to get a real-person job. But since I'm not, it will go forever overlooked.

Oh, and I finally got my final project online. So, that's cool. I'd like you all to take a moment and watch.



Did you like it? It's super grainy because it's compressed for a smaller screen, but I'm not about to do anything to change that. I'm really more into the writing aspect of television, so it's doubtful I'd ever go back and make something like this again, but I had a lot of fun editing and putting it together. And even if I try to get a job as a writer, I feel like this is a good depiction of my sense of humor and style of storytelling. And it's on my iPod so I can take it and show important people everywhere I go.

The gay couple two doors down from us are really into pumpkin carving. Every day they add another jack-o-lantern to their front porch. As of now there's about five, plus a pile of seven or eight uncarved pumpkins that will no doubt become happy glowing orange faces in the near future. Speaking of Halloween, I need to get started on my costume. As a matter of fact, I'm going to be going to Ragstock in a few minutes to try to get some green overalls.



I'll also need a green hat and something for the collar.

Somethign Suri-ous

I wrote an entry about this documentary we watched in Urban Geography called "The Corporation," and how disturbing it was, and how unsettled it made me feel. I also talked about growing up and how hard it can be when you realize all of your old friends are moving away and you'll never see them again.

But then I did something. Something bold. Something new. No, I didn't buy Tivo. Something bigger! I put myself into the shoes of the reader. Sure, I can sit and type till the cows come home about how so and so is moving to this or that city. Oh, how the words to flow when I talk about this movie and how it made me feel. Hell, I can easily create a streamline directly from my consciousness to the keyboard. But see, that often makes things boring as shit. I don't write this to wax philosophical (I've always wanted to use the term "wax philosopihcal") or to open up about things like my feelings and inner thoughts. That's gay (derogatory! language of oppression! Sensitivity training!). I write this to be funny. So, it's about time we got back to basics.

But you should see "The Corporation." Serious.

I've been thinking about Baby Suri today. I don't know why. Most likely because I was playing Text Twist and "suri" was not counted as a word. I knew it wouldn't but I had to try anyway. I mean, if "tat" counts as a word, you never know. Anyway, back to the issue at hand. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, Baby Suri is Jesus? Isn't it weird that they capitalize "baby" when you say Baby Suri? Kind of like a hurricane is a hurricane, but Hurricane Katrina is a proper noun. Baby Suri ain't just any baby.

Suri was born and the country just went ape shit about it. And oh man, how badly did people want to see this child? Badly. Shit, they were like counting how many days had gone by without a picture of her being released. Didn't they call it Suri-Watch? That's crazy. I bet someone tried to issue an Amber Alert on that kid. So, this fascination, nay, OBSESSION, with Baby Suri, whose intitials are BS, an irony not lost on myself, makes me wonder. All of this hullaballoo over one baby? Maybe Baby Suri is a prophet! It's the only explanation. The world rejoices the birth and awaits to see the Christ child (in an exclusive Vanity Fair spread)! I mean, we all know God has a sense of humor (ever see a platypus?), and what is funnier than reincarnating his son as the daughter of a Hollywood star gone bananas and Joey Potter? Good one, God! Oh, and to make them SCIENTOLOGIST on top of that! Too much!

Of course, there is another possibility. Something a little less outlandish than Baby Suri being Jesus. Beware of false prophets, they say. They shall come to you in sheeps clothing. So, there's an equal chance that Suri is actually the opposite of what I just said. Suri is actually Satan. I don't know if you've read the bible or not. I haven't, but I've seen The Omen (the original one, not even the Julia Stiles one! Talk about cred!) and I consider that an equally reliable source on everything Catholic. So apparently Satan is going to come to earth and make everyone believe that he is some sort of savior and going to make our lives better. The whole sheeps clothing thing. Do you get it now? Then, once everyone in the world is convinced that this person is our savior...BAM! Eternal damnation! Baby Suri conned us all! You're probably wondering how I know so much. Well, let's just say I saw part of Left Behind II on a bus once. This theory is quite plausible. I mean, look at Suri's parents. Tom Cruise has clearly already converted to the evil side, and Katie Holmes has no soul anyway. Who else would bring the face of evil into our world? Ben and Jen? DOUBT IT!

Hey, it could happen.

am i some sort of schemer??

I'm at about $500 for the fundraising so far. What's making me nervous is I need $1,000 in two weeks. I can't say I'm not surprised by the underwhelming (shouldn't even say "underwhelming," a better term would be "complete lack of") support from my peers. But I promised myself this wouldn't become a rant of how none of my friends are donating. Because it's not the deadline yet. There is still some time, and I do intend to crack down on the non-donors, so to complain at this point is a little premature.

I really wouldn't be upset right now if it weren't for my aunt. She apparently told my mom she thought this was a scam. A scam? A letter from The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is a scam? Oh, how did I not discover this before! Leukemia is not even a real disease! It was created by college students to scam their relatives out of money! I was so blind, but now I see! Okay, so ignoring the fact that she thinks that running a marathon for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is apparently not a legit form of charity, how about the fact that I'm her nephew???

She also asked questions such as "What if he doesn't raise enough money? What if he doesn't even run it?"

Yeah, so nice of you to cover up your own motives of being a cheap ass by questioning my abilities to raise the funds and participate in the event. Please.

Annnyway...I'm going to do it. There's nothing to stop me. And once I get all my donation letters out, host the benefit (by the way, Steph is doing an AMAZING job with that), and get all of MY FRIENDS TO DONATE (NOT SO SUBTLE INSINUATION), I should be alright.

If I were in the UC right now...

I wouldn't be 3/4 done with my homework at 10:14 pm, like I am right now. I wouldn't have even started it. I'd be in Carly's apartment next door watching whatever stupid movie her and Eileen rented from the machine downstairs. We would be drinking wine and eating chips and dip. We might or might not be in our pajamas.

If I wasn't next door, I'd most likely be at a "homework party" in Baggy's room. Everyone would be there. Maybe even Jill. No one is doing homework at this party though. Ashley is pretending to. She has her computer and the Word document is open, but that's as far as she's gotten. Because she is talking to me on AIM, even though I am sitting in the same room. We're probably making fun of Matt, who is sitting right next to her on the futon. He reads our conversation and laughs at us.

Baggy is on his computer. He doesn't have any homework. It's an easy semester for him. Dave is drawing. He is up on Baggy's bed. Jenny and Christian are watching some artistic movie on Baggy and Ryan's tv. No one is really paying much attention to it because we don't get it. Dani is in the room too but she didn't bring her computer. She didn't need it. She brought magazines and scissors. I don't know if she's making a collage for class or just for fun.

I leave Baggy's and go over to Whore Island for a bit. Libby and Marc are fighting/watching TV. Steph is super busy with some work but I go in and say hello anyway. We sing a country song together and then I go in Jess's room. We sit and catch up on how our lives are. Then I steal one of Ashley's granola bars and Jess has a 100 calorie snack. We turn off the light and play with her glow in the dark retainer!

Back down to my apartment. I said I'd be right back when I left Baggy's but everyone knew I wouldn't. I end up going back up 2 hours later. But everyone left.

Je vie pour le week-end

That title is for Baggy. I bet he feels so smart.

It's Saturday night.

The 4way is happening.

Maggie is coming to pick me up because I don't feel like taking the train.

I got up and ran 6 miles at 8 this morning, but took a long long nap so I shouldn't be passing out.

Tomorrow is the first day in two weeks that I have absolutely NOTHING planned and NOTHING to do and I plan to take full advantage of that.

Tomorrow I should have a full update of the 4way.

Maybe I'll take my camera?

I almost wrote Chapter 10 today.

In fact I did write "Chapter 10"

In the title line.

Then I changed my mind.

ummm

Twigger just introduced me to Prussian Blue.

are

you

serious?





there's a story in this. i'm oddly inspired.


no, not to secure the existence of our people and our white children.

to write.

i'm inspired by the hate, in a strange way. how can two girls so young and sweet looking be so disturbingly hateful? they must have a crazy ass mother, who is probably equally as intriguing as the girls themselves.

tuff enuf?

Okay, so I think I'm starting to slow down. Getting up at 8am every morning is getting harder. Pushing myself to go to all of my classes is a challenge. Following my training schedule for the run is getting tougher and tougher.

And we aren't even halfway through the semester? Hokey smoke, Bullwinkle.

Now is the time where I really have to push myself. I need to plow through feelings like these, because the second I start to slip, it will be a snowball going downhill. It starts with slacking on an assignment, skipping a class, or missing a training session, but I know that will only be the start.

So I can't let that happen. It's gonna be a busy semester, hell, it already IS a busy semester. But the worst is yet to come, and I need to make sure I'm ready.

Mmmm My Computer Tastes Like Internet.

I'm going home this weekend. Sorry. You can't play with me. Try to find your way in the world without me. I know it won't be easy, but come Sunday, this challenge will have made you stronger, and perhaps a little wiser for the wear. Seeing as how I was going to have to choose between Dean's party and the OL reunion anyway, this effectively removes any blame that can be laid upon me for not showing up at any said festivities.

I got my first piece of feedback from Slamdance, where I entered Off The Clock in their teleplay contest. I really have no expectations of winning, placing, or even having one person tell me it didn't suck. The only reason I entered was for the feedback. An industry professional reading my work and giving me pointers on how to improve it? I'll have one of those and a side of sweet potatoes, thanks. They came up with a really good logline for Off The Clock, which I now intend to use for my own personal gain. So here it is:

Off The Clock: Amusement park employees party off-hours in stark contrast to the fantasy they’re paid to create during the day for families on vacation.

Have I ever actually explained the plot to OTC before? I don't think I have. I probably shouldn't have. Now all seven of the people that read my blog are going to copy my idea and high-tail it to Hollywoodland with dollar signs in their eyes and stardom in their dreams. Oh, just leave me in the dust, I guess. I deserve it for failing to exercise more discretion. Oh wait, I already registered my story with The Writer's Guild. I'll take my dollar sign eyeballs and stardust dreams back, please.

Speaking of multitasking...oh wait, we weren't speaking of multitasking? Sorry. Well now I am.

Oh, and speaking of multitasking, I am currently at work, doing homework, writing in my blog, and playing Text Twist. Not to mention the inevitable AIM conversations that pop up sporadically throughout the day. I'd like to get my homework done, but Text Twist is definitely second on my list of priorities, so I can't feel too ashamed if my synopsis of ideological analysis has to wait until another day.

Classes are pretty good. I don't hate any of them. Urban Geography and Culture, Race, and Media are currently my least favorite, but even they aren't that terrible. I love Improv, of course. Who didn't think I would? And Writing The Sitcom is a blast because I get to write a spec script for It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. With OTC and now this, if I'm not carving out my niche as an offbeat, dark humorist, I'm most definitely reserving a ticket on the express bus to Hell. Unless incest and taking advantage of suicidal girls is kosher, in which case, I expect a job with Disney Channel any day now. I hope Suite Life of Zach & Cody is hiring writers. TV Program Development is a lot of fun too. My current project is called "Leper High." It's an animated sitcom about a high school where everybody has leprosy.

Hmm...too much writing, not enough Text Twist.

i want a puppy

I am having to exercise an exorbitant amount of self-control in order to keep from looking up the following things online:

-LA apartments (It's not even October. I have lots and lots of time)
-Dogs (Too busy right now to bring in and train an animal, although next semester...)
-Tivo (A VCR will have to suffice for now)

Ashley has been here for the past week. I'm coming to terms with the fact that she is never leaving, although she claims that she is. We have done a lot of cooking which has been beneficial to both our wallets and our bodies. We've done chicken, pizza, sloppy joe (which may not exactly be as beneficial to my body as I think) and some other things. Tomorrow we're making steaks! Right now Ashley is watching the new episode of 7th Heaven on the CW. Apparently Ruthie is gone? So Jessica Biel, Barry Watson, Simon, and Ruthie have all moved out. But somehow those Camdens still manage to keep their house chuck full of troubled and/or misguided kids who just need some lovin' and maybe a bit of Jesus in their life.

Fundraising is going well. Training is also coming along. I got in touch with my training mentor, and my patient honoree. Hopefully I will meet them both soon.

So that's about it for now. School is going well. I'm busy, but we all know that by now, and beating a dead horse isn't necessary.

Chair-itty

I'm sitting at work. This is my schedule of things to do for the next hour:

Take the stuff out of my old bag and put it in the new bag Shannon gave me.
Throw out my garbage.
Blog.
Look at phones on T-Mobile website (that referral money should hopefully be coming at the end of the month.


And...that's about it.

Classes are good. I like TV Program Development a lot. The story I'm working on right now is called Leper High. Yeah, pretty straightforward title there. It should be fun. Oh, and I love Improv class. I'm auditioning for the Improv team tomorrow. Yeah, as if I need more activities to keep me busy. Speaking of which, I didn't get cast in the show I got called back for, but the truth is, that's a good thing. If I was in a show right now, I would be at school from 9am until 10 pm every day of the week for at least a month. And two or three saturdays. This would not include time to train for the marathon either. Sad I didn't get cast? Yes. Relieved? Also yes. I guess all my classes are good. I'm busy, but it's a good busy. I'm busy doing things I enjoy. I'm busy running. I'm busy writing. I'm busy working.

Coming Soon: I'm throwing a benefit to raise money for Leukemia & Lymphoma. It's going to be about $20 or so per person, with all of that going to charity. It's not really a donation, however, because that will entitle you to all of the alcohol you want. And if I hear one more person say "people won't want to do that, there are cheaper ways to get drunk" I will shoot someone.

1. It's a benefit. It's for CHARITY. Getting drunk is a positive side effect of that. It's not a kegger. (although if I have another party, I fully intend on calling it "Kegger for Cancer"
2. 20 dollars is a HELL of a good deal for as many drinks as you want. Ever been to a bar before? Yeah. Exactly.
3. I talked to Steph and we might even try to find a bar to host it at. If that's the case, the young ones can't come anyway, and will be free to shotgun beers and do shots of Skol without any complaining from me.

So, mark you calenders for either the 20th or the 21st of October. If you are one of my out-of-town readers, start looking into train or plane tickets. It's going to be a good time for a good cause, and I'd love to see you there. I might even charge $15 to people who wear green and purple. I would be more worried about getting people to come, but with all of the stuff I've done on campus, I've met enough stand-up folks through Student Government and Orientation and everything else that I know I can count on some of you.

http://www.active.com/donate/tntil/SSzlaga
On an unrelated but equally relevant topic, I got my graduation audit. And it's official! I can graduate. This means nothing to me, since I have been well aware of this fact for the past three years, but it does make my mom feel more comfortable having it in writing on a piece of paper with Columbia letterhead. So Semester in LA next summer is a definite go. I've already started looking at apartments online, just for fun. Hopefully things work out with Flavin so I don't have to do this alone.

And that's about all I've got.

PLEASE HELP!

http://www.active.com/donate/tntil/SSzlaga


that is the address to the website where you can make donations for my Team In Training Fundraising. Remember, all of your money is going to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. It is NOT going to pay for my trip to Florida. If you would also like to pay for my trip to Florida, that's cool too.


Again, that address is
http://www.active.com/donate/tntil/SSzlaga


Please send it to all of your family and friends. This is really something big that I'm taking on, and I need all the help I can get. So be sure to visit the website. It's
http://www.active.com/donate/tntil/SSzlaga

bite off more than you can chew

I don't know what possessed me to become so involved and active this semester. I guess it's not that much of a surprise. Ever since I came to Columbia I've been taking on more and more, but this semster I am really pushing it.

Taking six classes was somewhat necessary. I need to make sure that I am done after Spring. And taking six classes now will hopefully help so that I can be part time next semester, meaning I can have a full time job and save up money for LA.

Then there's SGA. I was the TV Department Senator last year, so of course I came back to do it again. Actually, I did NOT want to do Student Government again, but once I had competition for the Senator position, it suddenly became much more important for me to run for Senator again.

And a job. Thanks to Baggy, and the fact that I happened to be friends with his new boss, I managed to snag a job as an office assistant at Student Affairs. It's pretty laid back and there's even time to do homework, so it's hard to complain about the work situation.

And the other job. I told my cousin I would start walking Shilo again in September. I had to stick with my word, despite the fact that I barely have time to get over there and back between classes on some days. I'd say that I can't do it, but the other dog walkers have already made their fall schedules, and I would be causing a big hassle if I quit two weeks after starting again. And it's an extra forty bucks a week.

And the marathon. I've been following the training schedule (even getting up at 6am to run on Saturdays) and things haven't been too hard yet, but that's only because we're on four miles. Once I'm running double that, running is going to be harder to fit in

And the fundraising. To do the marathon I have to rasie $3,900. That's a lot of money. But I can do it. I have full confidence that I can raise that much, if not more. I've even set up a website for people to make their donations online. I've compiled an enormous mailing list for the site. Now I just need to type up a letter and send it out to everyone. I've also got some Team In Training stationary and envelopes for the people who don't know about internet.

And I entered Off The Clock into a teleplay competition.

And I'm going to help Maggie and some other people write a screenplay.

And I auditioned for a show, even got a callback.

Basically I am gone from 9am-9pm Monday through Friday. But it's not bad. In two years I'm going to look back on these college days, which are rapidly decreasing, and be glad that I did so much.

Classes are good. I'm going to be doing a lot of work, and a lot of writing especially. I'm definitely glad I finished Off The Clock before classes started.

Oh, and I just found out that my friend's mom reads this. I'm quite excited. I hope that wasn't a secret that I wasn't supposed to know about, but I haven't been this exciting about other people's parents since Carrie Burnett's mom cried when I jumped in front of the subway train in After The Fall.

I bought two books online because they were cheaper. Too bad they never came and the sellers at half.com are no longer registered users. Too bad they have about 20 pieces of negative feedback claiming to never receive their books. Too bad I now have to go buy them for their full outrageous price at the bookstore. Too, too bad.

I'm going to take a nap before you're even up.

You know, I've never come up with the title of a blog entry before I've written it. I'd suggest other people do the same. It makes things more interesting. Especially for those of you, who shall remain anonymous, that tend to come up with entries such as "23-pdjsakxjaps" and so forth.

Today was my first day of training for the marathon. Only problem was, I couldn't find it. Driving directions to the Wilson exit off Lake Shore don't do much good when you're getting off the Montrose Brown Line. By the time I even got to Lake Shore, it was 7:20. And I was a mile south of where training had started twenty minutes earlier. Realizing that I wasn't going to make it, and that my first official training day would be next Saturday instead of today, I decided to make something of the fact that I got up at 6am for this, so I ran home from Montrose. Now I'm tired. Fighting the urge to nap, but in a situation where it's either nap or shower, I choose the one that requires less energy.

When I got home, I went to Dominick's and bought ingredients for an omelette. So yeah, an early morning run and a healthy breakfast. Look at me.

It's Obligatory

This summer I...

Moved out of the UC and into Lincoln Park with Jeff and Matt
Got a job at My Pie, a pizza restaurant.
Tried to go to the beach as much as possible.
Spent a lot of time alone.
Took Shilo to the beach.
Went to the Zoo with Jenny, Christian, Jeff and Baggy.
Decided to stop putting a comma before the "and" when listing things.
Said goodbye to Ashley about 7 times.
Said goodbye to Dani twice.
Stop going to work at My Pie so that I could go home for my Aunt's pool party.
Saw Dangles' boobs in the elevator at her brother's condo.
Made politically incorrect Mad Libs and did summersaults off of a bed.
Went to Lollapalooza and loved it.
Worked New Student Orientation for the second year.
Made some awesome new Orientation Leader friends.
Joined the gym again.
Decided to train for a marathon.
Got wasted and sang "Colors Of The Wind"
Found an awesome beer pong partner in Carolyn.
Comforted Millie on the night we're not supposed to talk about.
Made up the most ridiculously fun ID card games with Cameron.
Found out Annie was having my baby.
Went back to Novi for two weeks.
Tanned.
Said goodbye to Alicia as she moved to China.
Said nevermind to the goodbyes I said to Ashley.
Got EXTREMELY silly and watched Final Destination 3 with Jacob, Millie and Cam. (By far my favorite moment of the summer)
After waiting for months, FINALLY saw Snakes On A Plane (loved it)
Played Garfield Drinking Game with Dean and Dangles.
Rearranged my desk.
Finished writing my script for Off The Clock.
Bought earplugs due to the noisy people coming home from bars at 3am.
Bought a fancy journal/notebook for $15.
Wore sunglasses.
Went back to Kalamazoo for a night.
Turned 22.
Rollerbladed all over the city.
Missed my Upass



Looking back on this summer, have you...

01. Drank alcohol?
Like I need to answer that.

02. Cried?
When Millie spit her pizza into her hand three times

03. Kissed anyone?
yes

04. Been on a vacation to a different state?
Michigan? No Iowa for me this year...

05. Been on a vacation to a different country?
No.

06. Been to the beach?
I went there quite a few times at the beginning.

07. Been to an island?
Not that I know of

08. Done drugs?
Final Destination 3. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

09. Smoked?
No. Shut up!

10. Snuck out?
Yes, and my roommates grounded me when they found out.

11. Had a sleepover?
Kalamazoo

12. Stayed up all night?
No! Pretty close though that one night at Cam's

13. Slept in someone elses bed?
Maggie Ness.

14. Went pee in a pool?
Sick. Never

15. Went skinny dipping?
No.

16. Been on the computer a lot?
Too much

17. Played video games?
At the beginning. Whatever happened to Resident Evil 4...

18. Listened to an ipod/mp3 player?
yes

19. Been on over 30 car rides?
Doubt it.

20. Been grounded?
This is gay.

21. Been to a party?
A few

22. Regret something?
Nope!

23. Been dumped?
Nope!

24. Lied?
Yeeessss

25. Done anything against the law?
Final Destination 3

26. Been camping?
Nope

27. Got in a fight?
Nope

28. Got a new hair do?
I got it cut?

29. Stayed at a hotel?
No.

30. Talked on the phoNe all night?
Yeah right, and use all my minutes?

31. Went shopping?
yes

34. Someone ask you out?
Nope. Stupid.

35. Got in a car with a stranger?
no

36. Lost someone close?
No.

37. Had someone sleep in your bed?
No

38. Been to a movie?
Snakes on a motherfuckin' plane

39. Been to a club?
No.

40. Slept in?
yes

41. Got tanner?
yup

42. Watched TV for more than 5 hours?
Oh god. When I had the first season of Veronica Mars, you can bet I did.

43. Tried something new?
I had a roast beef sandwich

44. Did homework?
No.

45. Learned something new?
Probably

46. Went surfing?
No.

47. Went dancing?
No.

48. Been to a concert?
Lollapalooza

49. Quoted a movie?
We quoted a lot of FD 3 and SOAP

50. Played with fire?
No.

51. Made new friends?
A bunch of awesome OLs

52. Who is the person/people you were with the most?
Millie, Cameron, Jacob, and Carolyn.

53. What is your favorite ice cream this summer?
Rocky Road

54. What was the best day?
Final Destination 3 at Jacob's with Millie and Cam. Don't even start me on this.

55. What is your biggest regret so far this summer?
Breaking too many plans.

56. What is your favorite song this summer?
Hmmm...hard one. Probably Colors Of The Wind

57. What is your favorite movie this summer?
Little Miss Sunshine

58. Is this the best summer so far?
It's up there

59. Are you looking forward to school starting?
I suppose...

Chapters 8 and 9: Glow Sticks & Waffle Cones, Respectively

Despite everything I put myself through, I managed to survive my first year at Western. The parties, beer bongs, staying up all night drinking and doing another shot at 8am on my way to class, and daily beer pong games was tuition money well spent. The best part was that I never had to get a job. All of the money from my graduation party had pretty much become a limitless supply of all of the drugs, alcohol, and late night Taco Bell runs I could ask for. And that was after I bought a computer! I was lucky to make it all the way through, but by the time I got home, I knew it was time to find a job. And fast. Since every other returning college student was coming home and looking for a job at the same time, I needed to be on top of things.

And it just so happened that a new mall was opening in Novi. The Fountain Walk, deemed a necessary addition to the city by absolutely no one, was starting to open a few stores. And a few of those few were hiring. Finding a place of employment really wasn't as hard as I had feared, and within a week of being home, I had interviews for Putting Edge (glow-in-the-dark mini golf. Perfect) and Coldstone Creamery.

Did I say interviews? I'm sorry. I meant "auditions." Not interviews. I guess the best piece of advice I could give someone looking for a part time job would be...be weary of places that hold "auditions." Putting Edge's audition wasn't too bad. That was more or less a group interview. Nothing strenuous. Just making sure you can play well with others, really. Coldstone, on the other hand, was a little bit more garish. You had to sing. Yes. Sing. For a part time job scooping ice cream for the summer. You had to sing. Have you ever been to Coldstone? You know those terrible songs they sing about ice cream, to the tune of "The Flintstones" or "If You're Happy and You Know It" and all that shit? The ones they sing when they get a tip? Yeah. I had to sing one. Let's just say, when you base your hiring completely on how someone sings some tacky rendition of The Addams Family song instead of on whether they have any customer service or cash handling skills, it shows. I sang this:

(To the tune of 'Row Row Row Your Boat')
Choose choose choose your cone
Put your ice cream in
Lick it up lick it up lick it up lick it up
Wipe your sticky chin!

The only reason I chose that one was because it was the shortest, and therefore, the least embarrassing.

Actually, we had to make up a song at the Putting Edge interview too. So maybe it was a little bit like an audition after all. I did mine to 50 Cent's "In The Club," cleverly titled "With A Club," (miniature golf, remember? Shut up. It's funny).

I ended up getting both jobs. Are you surprised? With these pipes of mine I can sing my way into any situation. The problem is, both places planned on over staffing, in the most severe sort of way. Because of that, I decided to work at Putting Edge and Coldstone. The funny part is that despite having two part time jobs, I was still pulling in roughly 20 hours a week. Talk about big money.

Now, I don't use this phrase lightly, but Putting Edge was one of my favorite jobs ever. That may seem hard to believe, but try to remember, I've hated almost every place I've worked at. It doesn't take much to get into the top 3. I was an Entertainment Coordinator there, which sounds like I had a lot of responsibilities and jobs. Actually, it's just a fancy way of saying "regular employee." There were three aspects to being an Entertainment Coordinator. Retail, which is working the register and selling merchandise and admission. Marshaling, which was walking around the course, having fun with people and enforcing the rules. Being a Party Host was, well, self-explanatory. Although I suppose "retail" and "marshaling" were pretty self-explanatory also. Marshaling was pretty fun. It was basically walking around playing mini golf for an entire shift. I would be armed with a putter and 2-for-1 passes burning a hole in my pocket. I would challenge people on certain holes, and tell them that if they did better than me, I would give them a 2-for-1 pass. The only problem was, when I first started, I pretty much sucked the big one when it came to mini-golf. I'm surprised I didn't single-handedly put Putting Edge out of business.

But my favorite duty of all was being the host for birthday parties. You got to spend the entire afternoon with the kids. Taking them on the course to golf, serving them pizza, entertaining them with games and such. Most people were not a fan of party hosting, but I loved it. I got tipped pretty well, too. The kids liked me, believe it or not. There are some people who can't believe how good I am with kids. But believe me I am. You'll learn more about that in Chapter 11, though.

The best party I ever hosted was for this kid who was turning 11. Actually, I have no idea how old he was turning, but ages 9-12 are pretty much the same thing to me. It was all boys, which is so much more fun than girls, because the boys like to compete and roughhouse and cause trouble in general. The girls on the other hand, reach their peak of excitement when picking out a ball color, and never seem to achieve that level of fun on the actual course. So I had these boys, all about 9-12 years old or so. And about halfway through the course, they decided that I was more fun than actually golfing. So they made it their priority to annoy, bother, entertain, mock and hurt me. Basically, anything that would get my attention, they would try. I can't say I didn't enjoy it. I mean, in order for them to get my full attention, they were giving me their full attention, and God knows how much the attention slut inside of me loves an audience. Maybe that's why I loved hosting parties so much. Sure, it was the birthday kid's big day, but I was in charge of everything. I was the fucking host. All eyes were on me. I was the Pied Piper of Putting Edge. I'm not even sure what the Pied Piper did, to be honest. Whatever. I was the Pied Piper, Peter Pan, and Papa Smurf all rolled into one. Okay, Papa Smurf makes no sense, but alliteration is a very effective literary device.

The boys in the party took to asking me every question they could think of. Including, but not limited to:

"Are you the boss?"
"Is your dad the boss?"
"Do you get paid?"
"Are you in college?"
"Are you gay?"
"Is your dad gay?"
"Is the boss gay?"
"When is your birthday?"
"Can I kick you in the crotch?"
"Do you like cake?"
"Is the cake gay?"

These questions and more were fired at me like spit-balls in a rapid succession. The answers were, in this order: Yes, no, yes, yes, no, no, yes, May 19, no, it's ok, queer as shit. An added bonus to party hosting was that you got first dibs on leftover pizza. Which many times became the highlight of my day.

The manager at Putting Edge was Craig. Craig did not get me. I often wondered if he hated me. He did not seem to appreciate my wry humor or my sarcastic ways. But he did appreciate that I was a damn good employee, which is why he had me go with him to the Novi Town Center Cinema on opening night of Terminator 3 to play games with people and promote PE. Unfortunately, nobody goes to the Town Center Cinema, so about 7 people were actually informed about our new glow-in-the-dark mini-golf funtown.

On the other side of the Fountain Walk, Coldstone Creamery's popularity was snowballing at an alarming rate. Alarming only to those of us who worked there, since it meant an extremely long line that took an extra 45 minutes after closing time to serve. At times people would have to wait an hour for ice cream. I've never understood people's urge to wait in line for so long for something so inconsequential. It's ice cream, for crying out loud. Sure, you can get fresh sponge cake or a Twix bar mashed in it, but it's still just ice cream. And it's not cheap. Someone who was more economically minded (aka my Dad) would skip the Coldstone line and go buy a gallon for the same price at the grocery store.

The singing at Coldstone was not bad. I would usually try to find reasons to not sing. Like act as if I was concentrating really hard on making a waffle cone, or pretending there were dishes that needed to be done in the back. Of course these little tricks didn't work all of the time. I sang my share. I refused to sing for less than a quarter though. That bullshit of dropping a penny in the tip jar just to get us to sing didn't fly with me, and I refused to acknowledge any coin other than a quarter. Even a quarter only warrented a half-assed rendition of "She'll Be Comin' Round The Mountain." If you wanted the real gold, if you wanted the Addams Family song or "That's Amore" you had to break out the George Washingtons.

Coldstone was a franchise store. It was run by Kevin and Michelle, a married couple with an adorable little girl. They named the ice cream maker Aunt Bea. They put their blood, sweat, and tears into that place. I found it hard to slack off when working there, because Kevin and Michelle were literally always around. You really don't want to be cutting corners when working with the people who just spent crap upon craploads of money to open the store they are paying you to work at. It's bad form.

I left both Coldstone and Putting Edge at the end of August when it was time to go back to school. Around September or October I found out that Kevin had died. A bunch of crew members from Coldstone went to the funeral, but I wasn't able to make it out there. I did send Michelle a sympathy card, and a teddy bear for their little girl. Sometimes I wonder how Michelle and her daughter are. I'd like to go back to Coldstone and see. Hopefully she wouldn't be there. If she wasn't there, it would mean she could afford to hire more shift managers. And if she could hire more shift managers, it would mean the store was doing well. And if the store was doing well, then Michelle and Kevin's dream of owning an ice cream parlor was a success.

I did go back to work at both places during the Fall semester. I went back to PE for just one weekend. Despite my greatest efforts to work there in the month between leaving WMU and moving to Florida, Craig insisted that they were fully staffed and couldn't use me. Coldstone, on the other hand, always found a little bit of room on the schedule for a few hours. It was never the same though. The old summer crew was gone. I was working with new kids I didn't know, and white trash supervisors who listened to Nickelback on repeat. Plus it was winter, so nobody really wanted to come try the ice cream. Which meant less work for me.

I've noticed that I didn't mention my coworkers this time around. I probably should. At Putting Edge, it was Scott and Jennifer than I remember having the most fun with. Scott was just as offbeat and sarcastic as me, and Jennifer had crazy energy and made every shift exciting. Also, there was Kerry, who was another fun person to hang out with. The Coldstone Crew definitely gelled more than the PE people. We all went out after work together every night. Me, Arlie, Mark, Greg, and all the other people would spend all of our tip money (and seeing as how we embarrassed ourselves constantly, there was always quite a bit of tips) at Buffalo Wild Wings. Not only that, whoever got off work early would even drive back to the Fountain Walk late at night to hang out with everyone. Arlie and I even started the first Coldstone romance when we used my free movie passes to see Uptown Girls. Her choice, not mine.

Putting Edge and Coldstone were the perfect summer jobs. Easy and carefree. Fun people to hang out with. When compared to my other friends, like Todd, who was standing at Sam's Club all day trying to sell Empire Carpet, it sure was a plum gig.

Doo run run run

OK. I'm running a marathon.

Or a half marathon.

It's the weekend of January 7th.

It's at Disney World.

I'm going to start training this week (Giving me a little over 4 months, so I need to get my ass in gear)

Anyone interested in joining?

I'm registering by Monday, so there really is no time to hem and haw, but I definitely would like to do this with someone. (Although I know if I am the only one RUNNING, there are at least two people who will be going to Disney at the same time. ::COUGH COUGH::)

I've decided to do it. That's the easy part. The hard part is...how do I want to do it? There are a lot of different groups that participate in it. I'd really like to join Team in Training, because they raise money for Leukemia and Lymphoma, but I think it might be too late for that. Another option is the AT Children's Project, which will reimburse me for travel, and provide a group for me to run with. My other choice is to book reservations through a travel agency, get the discount since I'll be running the marathon, then raise money for any charity of my choice. I'd prefer to do that, but I don't want to run the marathon alone. And train alone. No fun there.

I'm leaning towards the AT Children's Project, just cause it's for the kids.

noodles

I have 8 coupons for Noodles In The Pot. They are sweet coupons, too. Buy one entree get one free. The catch is that the bill AFTER the coupon must be at least 12 dollars. This means that each person getting an entree is not enough. You must also get an appetizer. So, an appetizer to split, and your own entree (may I suggest the pad thai or cashew chicken), and you're only paying about 6 dollars. And there will be leftovers. You can try to be like Won Jargo or Kara Would and pretend you can finish it all. But you can't. So yeah, eight coupons. And they are on the back of Dominick's receipts, which means I'll only be getting more. Who wants to come? Any takers?

I want to watch Vanished, Heroes, Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, 30 Rock, Lost, The Nine, The Office, and Nip/Tuck this season. Think I'm gonna need a VCR.

Allow me to dispel the rumors

I will not be uploading my blog to facebook notes. Don't hold your breath. Or if you do, at least breath through your nose silently. What a neat parlor trick.

facebook notes

Are you familiar with the newest facebook feature? Facebook notes. It's basically useless.

Ummm

It's called Snakes On A Plane.

It's about a plane. With snakes on it.

How do you NOT get that?

If you can't stop taking things seriously for one second to understand how fun that is, then it really sucks for you. Because I think it's a blast.

"Snakes on a Plane doesn't speak volumes about shit. It just says people are still making movies that people are having fun going to watch."
-Samuel L. Jackson.

Sam couldn't have said it better. I wish he was my brother :)

Not every movie you see has to be life changing.

It's been exactly 2 years since I left.




And I still can't decide if it changed my life completely, or just plain ruined me.




With a voice from every country
And a face from every land
We'll celebrate the future
Hand in hand!

The makers of the ToastMaster want to make sure your Pop-Tart is never burnt.

Coming soon...

Chapters 8 and 9 are almost ready. They go together. Are you drooling? I know Dani is....

Sorry Dani, but Java Shitty is still a long way off.

But yeah. Soon. I promise.

It'll be a double shot of you love it

Google is taking over Blogger. Eep

I've seen my share of movies this week

It was actually really funny. No Lilo & Stitch by any means, but still decent. I saw it with Ashley and her family (go figure) when we drove back to Michigan.



















I bought it without watching it. Loved it. And the best part is you can definitely watch it more than once because there are a lot of things you don't quite pick up on. I guess it's a little like Veronica Mars.


















Freak
ing
loved
it.
I can't say enough about it so I won't even start. So good.






























Tough one. I thought the good parts were really good, and the boring parts were really boring. Halfway through you forget it's even about 9-11 because it's all about the guys stuck under the rubble. It was decent. It was definitely safe, and not controversial in any way. It tells a good story though, and I think anyone who thinks that it is "too soon" for a 9-11 movie is wrong. It's a good way for people to remember this. Because it did happen, and there's no point in pretending it didn't.





















What a way to follow up a 9-11 drama (and that's the gospel truth)



















It was ok. Not nearly as funny as Shrek and The Incredibles, which is sad because I was hoping it would be. It was actually surprisingly clever, though.




















Season 2 is far and away better than the first season. And that says a lot. It's nominated for like 5 Emmys, which is completely deserves. Too bad I don't have Showtime. And the newer episodes aren't even on iTunes yet, damnit.

101 blogs already !?!?

Despite the fact that the pool is this awful color, I still fully intend to hop on a raft and do some reading in the sun.









But first, I have some important things to get done.

-Watch Celebrity Fit Club (Carnie Wilson is an inspiration to us all)
-Look at apartments in LA, despite the fact that I have a whole year left in Chicago
-Send a resume, cover letter, and transcript to Upward Bound to apply for a tutor job
-Look at pets online even though I know I can't get a dog yet (ferret? guinea pig?) I found a beagle that I must have. I wish it was going to be put to sleep because then I'd have an excuse to get it and no one could argue.
-Check every new MySpace blog. Baggy has Mono? Dangles got a haircut?! Dani went to the mall? Ashley hasn't found an apartment!
-Wonder why I'm still inside
-Check half.com for TV show DVDs for cheap

I went to the dentist this morning. He said I had a cavity. I told him that I haven't drank pop in about 5 months, so I can't have a cavity. He said I did. I told him that if I can give up pop and still get cavities, that everything he's ever told me was a lie.

I parked on an incline at the dentist, and when I was leaving, I put the car in reverse and pulled out. But the car stopped and wouldn't go anywhere. I had no idea what to do, since it's a brand new Explorer. Well, turns out I didn't start the engine. The only reason the car backed up is because it was going down a hill. Dumb.

100 blogs already!?!?

Well, I suppose there's no sense in celebrating my 100th blog when the reality is that it's only my 100th on Blogger. If you were to count my Deadjournal, Livejournal, and Myspace accounts, there would be quite a few more. More than the stars in the sky, I'd assume. Please don't be distracted by those links. I know how fascinated you must be by my theory that Anna Nicole Smith is the reason for terrorism, or what my trip to California with Brent Beeler in the summer of 2002 was like, but please, try to focus.

I guess making it to 100 is kind of cool. There are a few people I'd like to thank, while I'm up here. First and foremost, I'd like to thank my parentheses. I use them quite frequently (at least once every entry) and I doubt my blog would be what it is without them. Thank you (. Thank you ). I'd also like to thank Alicia Hirshfield for telling me to make a Deadjournal account. Not only that, she is the one that got me the registration code for Livejournal. Remember when you couldn't make an LJ account without getting a number from someone who already had one? Well, thanks to Alicia for that as well. She's moving to China tomorrow. I'll miss her. I'd like to go visit, since I've always wanted to go to Shanghai, but my mom insists that I don't. She is convinced that some stranger will plant illegal narcotics in my suitcase and I will be falsely persecuted and spend the rest of my life in a third world prison. And yes, she came to this conclusion after watching Brokedown Palace on Lifetime. Fucking Claire Danes always finds a way to ruin my international affairs.

I'd also like to thank those of you that comment here. It is no secret that in my writing, much like my entire life, for that matter, I seek constant validation. I'd like to thank those of you that comment frequently for supplying me with that. Mostly that means Dani and Dangles. If my blog were a Subway and you got your card punched for commenting, those two would be munching on a 12 inch Daily Special right now. Although Twigger, Baggy, and Jenny often jump in with things to say as well. So does Ashley Rush from Disney, which is slightly random but that's why I love it. If you don't comment, I still appreciate that you at least read what I say. No. That's a lie. Fuck off. Either comment or jump off a fucking cliff. You ingrates.

I really need to finish Catch 22. I really love it. I just don't love reading. I used to read all the time. I was a big reader. My mom would always say, "Oh yeah, Steve loves to read." She'd take me to Borders once a week so I could get a new book. I was reading in the intermediate section way before anyone else! I was onto Fear Street when everyone else was still reading Goosebumps. Not that I didn't read Goosebumps too. But they really only took me about 3 hours to get through. I didn't notice at the time, but Goosebumps sure had some ridiculous titles. What was RL Stine thinking?

















Seriously?



My mom used to tell me that RL Stine didn't write all of the books. That he had writers that worked for him, because it was impossible to write an entire novel once a month. Yeah, I can see that. But come on. The Horror at Camp JellyJam? A Shocker on Shock Street? Yeah, I could believe that Shakespeare had help writing his plays, but to say that RL Stine needed help to make Egg Monsters From Mars just doesn't seem right.

Back to Catch 22. How is it that I am a writer (I've been published on websites, I go to SCHOOL for writing, I have a blog, I've written and registered a treatment and script for an original pilot) and I just can't sit down and read? I'll finish it eventually. Besides, I DID read Grapes of Wrath for fun once. That's gotta count for something.

My two biggest priorities right now are to finish my Off The Clock script and to finish reading Catch 22. Having my computer die made it a little harder to finish OTC, but once I get back to Chicago, I'm buckling down. I've had a few other ideas that I'd like to work on, but not until I finish this. My other pilot idea is about a family of carnies. Also I have an idea for a show based on all my friends in Chicago. But OTC comes first. I forgot my Batman notebook in Chicago and it's killing me that I can't write down my ideas. Then again, it's not like I've had that many. Hmmm. Uh-Oh. Am I boring now? I mean, the Goosebumps part, that was pretty good, right? Now I'm just talking about myself and my writing and I feel I've lost my audience. Quick Steve, think of something.












Yeah. There you are.

Annnyway. I went to my grandparents house this weekend. They just moved to a farm. My grandmas brothers used to live in the house, and I used to go up to the farm a lot when I was little. However, it seems that the years of Oakland County, Novi Public Schools, 12 Oaks Mall, Fountain Walk, and living in Downtown Chicago have really taken the country boy out of me (was there ever one in me? No. Probably not). It was a weekend of picking corn and potatoes, burning garbage, and going out after dinner to look for deer. I really really wanted to go to the Demolition Derby at the county fair, but that didn't happen. It brought back a lot of memories of my childhood trips up to the farm. Like the cats that lived in the barn and scratched the hell out of my arm when I tried to pet one. Or the time I went swinging on a rope in the barn and accidently let go and fell about 10 feet on my back. Or the time I went walking around with my Dad and ran ahead and shouted "Follow me Dad!" and without looking jumped right into a giant pile of cow shit. You know the Beatle's song "Mother's Nature's Son?" It's about me.

It really was a good weekend though. I got to relax and work outside and not even think about cell phones or internet or anything.

Happy 100! Here's to 100 more. Oh wait, didn't I used to write about jobs or something? Eh...Peace out.

so much to catch up on!

I hate MySpace. I just hate it. For all intents and purposes, I should love it. (When I was little I thought the phrase was "for all intensive purposes," isn't that hilarious!?!?) I mean you can decorate your background, put tons of sweet pix up in your bio, even play songs and videos! Baggy certainly couldn't post such a salacious picture of buxomed beauty Charo on my FACEBOOK wall, could he? That's out of the question! And you can blog on MySpace too!

Hard to believe there is ANY reason for me to hate MySpace, I know. Here is a short list:

1. It never works. On the off chance that the page actually works, you are still waiting a good 10 minutes for it to frackin' load. But don't worry, there is never any error in loading those John Tucker Must Die pop ups.

2. People who I don't know adding me. I don't mind cool people checking out my profile and seeing how awesome I am and wanting to be my friend. I can't blame them. What I don't like is when SexyVMonica tries TWICE to add me because she "saw my profile and loved it. Wants to hook up for webchat with her sexy friends" Not to mention all of the crappy bands, which leads me to...

3. MySpace Music. Useless. Pointless. Annoying. Consists of nothing but shitty Fall Out Boy wannabes and wierd goth/punk/metal/folk/lullaby craziness. Sure, a lot of big bands have MySpace music pages now too, but they don't need them. And what's the difference between a MySpace profile and a MySpace Music profile? You can play songs in both of them.

Annnnywaaaay....

Summer is almost over. Can you believe that? I guess we still have a whole month left, but I'll be home. Plus, I count my chickens before they hatch.

Orientation is done for a few weeks. Boy did we have some fun times. I'm genuinely looking forward to going back to work with everyone at the end of the month. Well, I'm more or less looking forward to our after-work parties. The most memorable OL experience so far definitely has to be when Jacob, Cam, Millie, and I watched Final Destination 3. Holy shit, what an evening that turned out to be. If you don't know why, then I guess you'll have to just wonder. It was bucknutty, to say the least.

Sorry Dangles, I've really been typing a lot, so I don't even know if I can get to Flavor of Love 2 in this post. But does every girl on that show have a lisp or gap teeth? I'm pretty sure they do. I love the white girl who wants a man that can "hold me, and hold me DOWN!" Classy. Best line so far, "I threw the first punch, yeah, but she threw flowers at me!" followed closely by, "Dear God, please forgive me for beating this bitch ass." That girl was too nuts to be real. She was a plant. She was put there to go nuts and get kicked off first and set the tone for the show. I mean seriously, she was CARRIED out. She wasn't real. I wish she was real, because I'd marry her, but she was just a plant.

Lollapalooza was awesome. I was wondering if I would have as good of a time this year as I did last year. I most definitely did. even though I wasn't nearly as excited about the line-up, there were tons of bands that blew me away.

On Friday, the Raconteurs were by far the best. I love White Stripes already, and now Jack White is in another one of my favorite bands.

The two best shows on Saturday were The Go! Team and Manu Chao. Two shows that most people didn't seem to see beside me. I loved how crazy The Go! Team got, despite it being about 11117 degrees outside. Celsius. And I never wanted to see Kanye. I don't like him. I never did. I wish more people felt the same way, but nobody seemed adventurous enough to trek over to check out Manu. Those who did got to enjoy dancing barefoot in Grant Park, under the glowing skyline, to some awesome latin rock. Everybody there was having an awesome time, and if more of my friends (you know who you are) would have just fessed up to not liking Kanye and TRIED something different for once, they would not have been disappointed. Alicia made her way over, and we had a blast. No doubt, the best part of the weekend.

By Sunday I was dead. 30 Seconds to Mars was great, especially because I spent most of it with a wasted Twigger who had snuck in an Aquafina bottle full of wine. The Shins were decent. A perfect band to listen to while you nap in the trees and try to keep your back turned to the line of a million porta-potties that are less than 20 feet from you. I wanted to check out Broken Social Scene, even though I didn't know a lot about them. Most people seemed to choose Blues Traveler, which I thought was strange. I didn't know people actually liked them (much like my discovery last year that everyone in the world loves Cake besides me), and the only song I know is that "sure fire way to keep things up" song, which is by no means one of my favorites. I'm glad I watched the Social Scene. They blew me away. Of all of the music that I need to download after Lollapalooza (and trust me, there's a lot), Broken Social Scene is the top of my list.

And who can forget the Chili Peppers. I couldn't find Alicia, which was sad, since I didn't get to say goodbye to her, but I did come across some other friends and we rocked out. But not with our cocks out. Well, Dangles had hers out, but only for "Dani California." After a relatively uneventful summer, aside from working, drinking, and sometimes going to the beach, Lollapalooza was just what I needed.

Oh, and my computer is broken. Did I say that yet? Oh, probably last time. Yeah, it went off during the thunderstorm last week and won't turn on. And yes, I have a surge protector so don't even fucking ask. Obviously a 5$ surge protector from Walgreens is hardly capable of living up to its name. The kicker? A little over a year ago, when I got my laptop, I couldn't decide if I wanted the 1-year warrenty, or if I should spring for the 2-year. After seeing Matt go through hell with his laptop and not having the warrenty cover it, I decided I better go with the 2 year.

THANK GOD.

Although the hour and a half I spent on the help line answering questions like "No it doesn't work plugged in with no battery. No it doesn't work not plugged in with a battery. No it doesn't work plugged in with a battery. No it doesn't work not plugged in with no battery," was not very helpful (If it doesn't work plugged in and with a battery, how the HELL is it going to work NOT plugged in with NO battery?!?) but they sent me a box to FedEx my computer to them. They should be sending it back to me next week. But don't worry, I'm going home tomorrow, so I'll have an all-you-can-eat internet buffet. And you better bet I'm stuffing rolls in my pocket.

Just a quickie. But worth it. (That's what she said)

My computer is broken right now. I am on Jeff's while he takes a shower and eats cereal. No, not at the same time. Milk, although a necessity to the cereal eating process, already causes sogginess, so consumption in the shower would only hasten the process.

No time for everything I want to say so I'm not gonna start. Stay tuned. Lollapalooza, last days of Orientation, summer fun, Flavor of Love 2, and what happened to my computer are only a few of the topics that I will be touching on. Are your pants still dry?

Didn't think so.

Hi friends

Millie is coming to pick me up so I am blogging while I wait. Every so often I will check out the window and see if she is here. I love not having to take the train this morning! Hopefully I'll be able to find a RedEye at the 1104 building, since I usually pick one up on the way to the Fullerton stop and read it on the train. Now, don't worry about me not having enough time to read the RedEye at work. My 10 hour days consist of about 9 hours of downtime. So not only will I read it front to back (Wait, it's the RedEye. We all read it BACK to FRONT) but I will most likely read it 4 times, and finish both Sudoku and the crossword puzzle. OK, that's a lie. I probably won't finish the crossword since there's always like two words left at the end and I have absolutely no idea what they are. I've gotten pretty good though.

Tomorrow is the last day of Summer Orientation. Hopefully there will be a big blowout tomorrow night to celebrate. Perhaps I should host it since Cam, Jacob, and Millie have already done one.

Lollapalooza is this weekend, and yes I am going. I'm not nearly as excited to go as I was last year. Mostly I just don't know the bands as well and am NOT looking forward to how hot it's going to be, but I know I'll still enjoy myself. Plus I have three, yes THREE separate friends coming into town who will be leaving shortly after Lolla and I will not see for a long time. So all in all this weekend will be busy but it's necessary.

Then I have Monday off. Then I go home for 2 weeks on Tuesday. Holler.

Home streeeeeetch

In the Fall, I will be taking:

TV Program Development
Writing The Sitcom
Small Screen Video
Improv Techniques
Urban Geography: The Study of Cities

After that, I only have one more semester in Chicago. I'm not done with Columbia, but done in Chicago. Next summer, if all goes according to plan, I'll be taking "Writing the One-Hour Drama" on the CBS Television lot for the Semester in LA program. And from there? Who knows. My friend who is out there now just got an internship with Passions. I'm hoping with Disney and Springer under my belt, I'll be able to get some sort of job/internship out of the SLA also. Preferably something that pays. Preferably a job as a Writer's Assistant for 24, Lost, Veronica Mars, The Office, Scrubs, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Nip/Tuck, or something equally as exciting. Or maybe I'll come back to Chicago. Or maybe somewhere else. Who knows?

While I don't technically graduate in Spring of 07, I am walking in the ceremony. It's the only ceremony there is, so if I want to walk, that's when I'd have to do it. And I want to walk. A lot of people don't care about it, and many just don't want to do it. But it's kind of important to me. High School graduation was important I suppose, but not that big of a deal to me. It's what you're supposed to do. But when I think about walking in Spring, I think about all that I've done since High School. Western Michigan University where I made some awesome friends, worked on the radio station, and tried to figure out who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. Orlando, Florida, where I worked full-time at Disney World for 8 months and learned what I'm capable of. Then of course, Columbia College Chicago, where I, dare I say, finished what I set out to do at WMU, learning exactly who I was and exactly what I wanted to do. Who would have imagined that in 5 years my life would change so much? When I walk in the Spring, it's the culmination of all of that. It's the beginning of....ughhhh....real life.

for your amusement

I don't understand why people continually underestimate me. Why do people see my ability to laugh at myself and take failure in stride as a weakness? Just because I can take admit to my faults doesn't mean that I don't have strengths. Perhaps my dim-witted inexperience is merely a subtle form of manipulation used to lower people's expectations and thereby enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver within any given situation?

Mediocrity and I have always walked hand in hand. I was always so-so at the sports I tried. I got decent parts in plays. I can sometimes (but not always) win at card games. I don't think there's ever been a single thing that I would say I excel at. Besides being funny, which I tend to latch onto with every ounce of my being, on account of that being about all I've got working for me. I'm not sure where I was going with this. I guess I could just stand for a few less people acting like my life is a farce in which I bumble and fail at everything.

Speaking of success, today I forgot to put on deodorant and I didn't smell at all. Despite some moisture throughout the day, there was no stench. See? And you think I'm not good at anything.