I don't know exactly what it was that ever possessed me to get a job at 14. I didn't need one. I mean, I was only 14. What bills did I have to pay? What could have possibly come over me to make me think that it would be a good idea to seek employment at such a young age? I couldn't answer that even if I were willing to try, which believe me, I'm not.
It was November of my Freshman year. Everything was going smoothly. I played saxophone in the Marching Band, where we took 2nd in the state, I was in a committed relationship, and for the first time in 6 years, I was going to the same school as my brother. However, there were still a few problems with my seemingly wonderful High School career. I hated Marching Band, I couldn't have cared less about my girlfriend, with whom I tried to keep any sort of contact with to a minimum, and my brother was an asshole.
Whatever the case was, I persuaded my mom to drive me (14 remember? The concept of me driving anything was still way beyond the horizon) to the mall, so that I could pick up an application. I filled it out in the bleachers of my girlfriend Lindsay's basketball game. It may have been spelled Lindsey. I'm not sure. All I remember is that I used to spell it wrong, which got her angry. I really wasn't the best boyfriend. I'll admit that up front now. I really wasn't too interested in being together. "Going out" just happened to be easier than breaking up and hurting her feelings. I've since learned that this is the exact sort of behavior that makes girls hate boys, and often turns them into motorbike riding lesbians. The whole relationship charade went on for far too long. Sometimes things just get too comfortable and you don't want it to end. I wouldn't say our relationship was all that "comfortable." I wouldn't even really say it was a matter of convenience. My fear of losing certain friends and hurting Lindsay's feelings is really all that kept us together. It was the moment that this idiot girl handed Lindsay (Lindsey?) a piece of paper listing reasons why she should break up with me that I finally said screw it. This is over. That and the fact that I wasn't going to give Lindsey (Lindsay?) a chance to dump me first. (I should also mention that "His nostrils are too big" was one of the reasons mentioned on the list. Don't you love High School?) I've gotten way off topic here...So yeah. I was applying for a job.
With what would turn out to be the job first application of a number greater than you'd ever imagine, my mom drove me to Twist & Shout and I turned it in. About three days later, I received a phone call from the manager, Kristine, asking me to come in for an interview. Looking back on it, I wasn't really that nervous at the interview. Why would I be? I was 14. It was a job selling pretzels. Really not something I would have classified as a major milestone in my life. Turns out I was wrong about that. Oh man, listen to me, getting all self reflective. A few days later, Kristine called me back and offered me the job. I was now officially a "Team Member" at Twist & Shout Pretzels.
I was young. Oh God I was young. And innocent. So innocent. I didn't know anything. About anything. Everyone I worked with was so much older than me. Ok, two or three years, but at 14, that is a world of difference. I couldn't even drive to work, for Christ's sake. My mom had to drive me to and from work. The others used this fact to make fun of my on a daily basis. Adding to my humiliation, my mom would forget to pick me up more often than she actually remembered to.
I showed up for my first day of work and learned the basics. Rolling pretzels, baking them, selling them. Monkeys work, really.
Aside from Kristine, I met Andy and Jessica that day. Andy was 16. Later on we would start calling him "Slow Andy." Andy was a great kid. It wasn't that he was stupid. He was actually kind of bright. He just didn't think. At all. It was my opinion that Andy had a disorder in which his brain and mouth were permanently detached from each other. One time Lynn called Andy "Captain Obvious" after he said something stupid, to which Andy replied "Whatever...Captain......Virginity!" Like I said. Great kid. He just didn't think all that much. I also met Jessica. One of the two "Team Leaders." Jessica was extremely tiny. With her huge platform shoes on, she still barely broke 4 feet. She was cute and young looking. I was surprised to find out she was 18. 18 seemed so old. She could drive. She smoked. She graduated High School! That made her an adult. That made her an authority. I think I met Nicole that day too. She came in later on. We rolled pretzels together for most of the day. She taught me how. Nicole was short and kind of dirty. Her hair was short and spiky and died a reddish orange color. After Nicole left, it was decided amongst the rest of us that she was not missed. And that she was a lesbian. She wore the same tattered long john shirt underneath her Twist & Shout shirt every day and it got pretty nasty. One day she burnt her arm really bad, and she insisted on showing it to us every time she worked. Like I said, Nicole was not missed.
I'd also eventually meet Lynn, the other supervisor. Lynn was 19 but she didn't talk to me like I was kid. Then there was Brynne. Ohhh where to even begin with Brynne.
Anything that I may have done wrong in my High School days, Brynne is completely responsible for. That's all I can say. Brynne corrupted me. We're actually still good friends. It's been seven years and we still talk. Who knows what I would be like today if I hadn't met Brynne.
Child labor laws were awesome. Being 14 in Michigan meant there were certain rules to be followed.
- No more than 18 hours a week.
- Working no later than 7:00 at night.
Now, if I couldn't get into work until 2:30 on a school day, and couldn't work passed 7, this made for an extremely easy job. Especially since we weren't busy at all. Our side of the mall was a ghost town on weekdays. Twist and Shout, the movie theatre, and supercuts. We had some fun times. I learned a lot about myself there. To be honest, I wouldn't be the sarcastic, witty, outspoken guy I am today if it hadn't been for that little pretzel place. I also wouldn't have learned these important lessons:
1. The secret ingredient to the pretzels was brown sugar.
2. Smelling salt can be very dangerous when it falls into the hands of bored teenagers.
3. Gum remover serves a great deal of purposes aside from the obvious one.
4. Sometimes a frozen coke machine might LOOK like it's going to be watery and melted, but once you start dispensing it becomes a thick and frosty treat.
5. If you keep a pretzel out for a month and then drop it, it will shatter.
6. There's no real reason to clean baseboards.
7. One of the Sailor Moon characters is a lesbian.
8. Vulpix evolves into Ninetails.
9. You can microbrew rootbeer.
10. How to roll a pretzel.
11. Raisins have NO BUSINESS being in a pretzel.
12. Mucky Duck mustard is an acquired taste.
The end came quite abruptly to our days at Twist & Shout. In retrospect, we really should have seen it coming. We were using generic plastic cups and napkins for about 2 months, and never received new ones with our logo. We never made more than $250 dollars a day in sales. And the biggest sign of the end being very well nigh...most of the other stores had already shut down. It didn't come as a surprise to us that we were closing. No. T'was the manner in which we were informed of the store's demise that was surprising.
I had Sunday off. I worked Saturday and one of the managers from another store came in and told us that the company wasn't doing well. I knew I better start looking for another job, but why rush? I had time, didn't I? They wouldn't just CLOSE THE PLACE without informing us!
...yeah they would.
Jason called me on Sunday to deliver the news. Apparently he had gone into work and the gate was closed. The gate was closed and people were moving stuff out. Twist & Shout was gone for good and we didn't even get a goodbye. We didn't even get to steal all the random crap that we planned to steal once the place finally did close. I didn't even get my Space Monkey stuffed animal that I kept on the counter as the store mascot. Luckily Brynne managed to retrieve Space Monkey. And he is still at home in my bedroom, safe and sound.
I'll tell you one thing, when I was filling out the application at Lindsey's (Lindsay's?) basketball game, I never would have dreamed that I'd have so much to write about eight years later.
It was November of my Freshman year. Everything was going smoothly. I played saxophone in the Marching Band, where we took 2nd in the state, I was in a committed relationship, and for the first time in 6 years, I was going to the same school as my brother. However, there were still a few problems with my seemingly wonderful High School career. I hated Marching Band, I couldn't have cared less about my girlfriend, with whom I tried to keep any sort of contact with to a minimum, and my brother was an asshole.
Whatever the case was, I persuaded my mom to drive me (14 remember? The concept of me driving anything was still way beyond the horizon) to the mall, so that I could pick up an application. I filled it out in the bleachers of my girlfriend Lindsay's basketball game. It may have been spelled Lindsey. I'm not sure. All I remember is that I used to spell it wrong, which got her angry. I really wasn't the best boyfriend. I'll admit that up front now. I really wasn't too interested in being together. "Going out" just happened to be easier than breaking up and hurting her feelings. I've since learned that this is the exact sort of behavior that makes girls hate boys, and often turns them into motorbike riding lesbians. The whole relationship charade went on for far too long. Sometimes things just get too comfortable and you don't want it to end. I wouldn't say our relationship was all that "comfortable." I wouldn't even really say it was a matter of convenience. My fear of losing certain friends and hurting Lindsay's feelings is really all that kept us together. It was the moment that this idiot girl handed Lindsay (Lindsey?) a piece of paper listing reasons why she should break up with me that I finally said screw it. This is over. That and the fact that I wasn't going to give Lindsey (Lindsay?) a chance to dump me first. (I should also mention that "His nostrils are too big" was one of the reasons mentioned on the list. Don't you love High School?) I've gotten way off topic here...So yeah. I was applying for a job.
With what would turn out to be the job first application of a number greater than you'd ever imagine, my mom drove me to Twist & Shout and I turned it in. About three days later, I received a phone call from the manager, Kristine, asking me to come in for an interview. Looking back on it, I wasn't really that nervous at the interview. Why would I be? I was 14. It was a job selling pretzels. Really not something I would have classified as a major milestone in my life. Turns out I was wrong about that. Oh man, listen to me, getting all self reflective. A few days later, Kristine called me back and offered me the job. I was now officially a "Team Member" at Twist & Shout Pretzels.
I was young. Oh God I was young. And innocent. So innocent. I didn't know anything. About anything. Everyone I worked with was so much older than me. Ok, two or three years, but at 14, that is a world of difference. I couldn't even drive to work, for Christ's sake. My mom had to drive me to and from work. The others used this fact to make fun of my on a daily basis. Adding to my humiliation, my mom would forget to pick me up more often than she actually remembered to.
I showed up for my first day of work and learned the basics. Rolling pretzels, baking them, selling them. Monkeys work, really.
Aside from Kristine, I met Andy and Jessica that day. Andy was 16. Later on we would start calling him "Slow Andy." Andy was a great kid. It wasn't that he was stupid. He was actually kind of bright. He just didn't think. At all. It was my opinion that Andy had a disorder in which his brain and mouth were permanently detached from each other. One time Lynn called Andy "Captain Obvious" after he said something stupid, to which Andy replied "Whatever...Captain......Virginity!" Like I said. Great kid. He just didn't think all that much. I also met Jessica. One of the two "Team Leaders." Jessica was extremely tiny. With her huge platform shoes on, she still barely broke 4 feet. She was cute and young looking. I was surprised to find out she was 18. 18 seemed so old. She could drive. She smoked. She graduated High School! That made her an adult. That made her an authority. I think I met Nicole that day too. She came in later on. We rolled pretzels together for most of the day. She taught me how. Nicole was short and kind of dirty. Her hair was short and spiky and died a reddish orange color. After Nicole left, it was decided amongst the rest of us that she was not missed. And that she was a lesbian. She wore the same tattered long john shirt underneath her Twist & Shout shirt every day and it got pretty nasty. One day she burnt her arm really bad, and she insisted on showing it to us every time she worked. Like I said, Nicole was not missed.
I'd also eventually meet Lynn, the other supervisor. Lynn was 19 but she didn't talk to me like I was kid. Then there was Brynne. Ohhh where to even begin with Brynne.
Anything that I may have done wrong in my High School days, Brynne is completely responsible for. That's all I can say. Brynne corrupted me. We're actually still good friends. It's been seven years and we still talk. Who knows what I would be like today if I hadn't met Brynne.
Child labor laws were awesome. Being 14 in Michigan meant there were certain rules to be followed.
- No more than 18 hours a week.
- Working no later than 7:00 at night.
Now, if I couldn't get into work until 2:30 on a school day, and couldn't work passed 7, this made for an extremely easy job. Especially since we weren't busy at all. Our side of the mall was a ghost town on weekdays. Twist and Shout, the movie theatre, and supercuts. We had some fun times. I learned a lot about myself there. To be honest, I wouldn't be the sarcastic, witty, outspoken guy I am today if it hadn't been for that little pretzel place. I also wouldn't have learned these important lessons:
1. The secret ingredient to the pretzels was brown sugar.
2. Smelling salt can be very dangerous when it falls into the hands of bored teenagers.
3. Gum remover serves a great deal of purposes aside from the obvious one.
4. Sometimes a frozen coke machine might LOOK like it's going to be watery and melted, but once you start dispensing it becomes a thick and frosty treat.
5. If you keep a pretzel out for a month and then drop it, it will shatter.
6. There's no real reason to clean baseboards.
7. One of the Sailor Moon characters is a lesbian.
8. Vulpix evolves into Ninetails.
9. You can microbrew rootbeer.
10. How to roll a pretzel.
11. Raisins have NO BUSINESS being in a pretzel.
12. Mucky Duck mustard is an acquired taste.
The end came quite abruptly to our days at Twist & Shout. In retrospect, we really should have seen it coming. We were using generic plastic cups and napkins for about 2 months, and never received new ones with our logo. We never made more than $250 dollars a day in sales. And the biggest sign of the end being very well nigh...most of the other stores had already shut down. It didn't come as a surprise to us that we were closing. No. T'was the manner in which we were informed of the store's demise that was surprising.
I had Sunday off. I worked Saturday and one of the managers from another store came in and told us that the company wasn't doing well. I knew I better start looking for another job, but why rush? I had time, didn't I? They wouldn't just CLOSE THE PLACE without informing us!
...yeah they would.
Jason called me on Sunday to deliver the news. Apparently he had gone into work and the gate was closed. The gate was closed and people were moving stuff out. Twist & Shout was gone for good and we didn't even get a goodbye. We didn't even get to steal all the random crap that we planned to steal once the place finally did close. I didn't even get my Space Monkey stuffed animal that I kept on the counter as the store mascot. Luckily Brynne managed to retrieve Space Monkey. And he is still at home in my bedroom, safe and sound.
I'll tell you one thing, when I was filling out the application at Lindsey's (Lindsay's?) basketball game, I never would have dreamed that I'd have so much to write about eight years later.
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