Life in LA isn't all that overwhelming, but I find that I keep overwhelming myself. Obsessively looking up jobs and internships, always feeling like I'm not writing enough, worrying that I should do one thing instead of another. I don't even really know how to describe it. I think I am forgetting that I am still in school and way off from any sort of real career. Take the job situation, for instance. I need to start making money in the next few weeks. Well, I don't NEED to but I probably should. Being poor would kind of suck. So I of course think to myself "well, any job would be fine. I'll go find a Starbucks or something."

That's all well and good, but then this other Steve voice pops into my head and says "You're in LA! Find a production company! Work on a film! Do something in your field!" So I spend much time scouring craig's list and other entertainment job sites for something temporary and part time, since class is of the 9-5 nature. Of course, no good job in my field is looking for help on nights and weekends, so that doesn't do much good. I did apply as a tour guide at Universal Studios which I BETTER hear back about, since I've worked for NBC Universal before, and I have theme park experience. Plus I could do night/weekend types of things. Plus its money.


This is boring. I wasn't funny or anything. Sorry for wasting your time.


Oh, I live with a detective in the basement.

5 random facts to let you know I'm still alive.

5. In and Out Burgers are okay. That's it. Just okay.

4. Today I got to go to the set of CSI NY, According to Jim, and a lecture with Will Forte (current SNL cast member) and Lorraine Newman (one of the original SNL cast members). The lecture was at Groundlings. It was really inspiring and I'm so glad that I'm going back into performance stuff, especially Improv. I mean, I was an Acting minor at Columbia but I'm just not a theatre person. I love all of the Writing & Producing stuff that I've done, and that's still something I'm gunning for, but I think somewhere between the ages of 18 and 22 I forgot what a passion I have for performing, specifically improv and comedy. Also interesting to note that Will Forte did a lot of writing for shows and backstage work before joining SNL.

3. I'm all settled into my place in Burbank. I'm subletting from Andy and Pam. They are a super nice married couple who might be just a little too nice. They are spoiling me like no other. For what I am paying a month, I am already getting an amazing deal. On top of that, they bought a rug to put in my room and want to get a flat screen TV for it too. Granted, after I leave they will continue to rent out the room, so it's not like these presents are specifically for me, but it's still awkward. The most awkward part is the plastic mattress cover they put on my bed. Are they worried that I'm a chronic bed wetter, or are they planning on stabbing me to death in my sleep? And which of those two is worse?

2. Every day I get to drive past Warner Brothers Studios, and I see the water tower and think of Animaniacs.

1. I scratched my new car already and I'm really pissed off about it. This is negative so I feel that this shouldn't be number one. I want to end on something fun and interesting.

1.1 Apparently in Las Vegas, they feel that everyone already knows the area code, so the phone book doesn't list it, nor do any billboards or signs with phone numbers. Nothing tells you what the area code of Las Vegas is. Lucky for me, I remember watching TRL one day when 702, the girls that sang "Where My Girls At?" came on. They explained that their name came from the area code of their home town, Las Vegas. Sure enough, I tried 702 and it worked. So a crappy band, mindnumbing television series geared towards adolescents with no personalities, plus my ability to remember the most useless information but inevitably discard anything of any actual importance almost instantly, pretty much a trifecta that saved our day.

Did Lewis and Clark stop in Vegas? Because I did.

Okie shmokie, here we go. I know you've been salivating over the thought of reading about my drive out west, and I'd hate to keep you waiting any longer than I already regrettably have. Hopefully nobody is suffering from a bout of hysterical blindness as a result of my departure. I'd sure hate for you to miss out on reading about my spiritual experience in the Texas panhandle.

Let's start with Thursday, since the whole experience really did begin with Steven's Last Night in Town. Ashley said she could drive me to the train station, but first she had to give blood. I'm not sure if anyone knows that Ashley gave blood on Thursday. She's been quite discreety about it. She barely mentioned it to anyone. So she comes to pick me up and unfortunately we didn't get to the train station in time. I missed it. Had to leave Friday morning instead. I really wasn't that upset. It meant I got to watch my Thursday night comedies with Jeff one last time, and I could hang out with my friends without the sadness of goodbyes or the stress of packing, since all that had been done.

Friday morning I got up, got my stuff together, and went outside to catch a cab. This took about a half hour. I called my mom to tell her I'd probably miss the bus (I got a bus ticket this time) because every cab was full. For over a half hour, I waited in the freezing cold, waving unsuccessfully to every cab that drove by. At this point, my fingers (we all know how Steve's fingers get) are in excrutiating pain, I can't even hold my suitcase handle. I'm leaving Chicago and I'm stressed and I can't figure out if I want to burst into tears, punch a wall, or go throw a brick through Ashley's window. I decided on the brick, but a cab finally showed up and took my to Union Station. I almost missed the bus, but it all worked out. The rest of Friday included dinner with family, scouring Craig's List for apartments and jobs, and unpacking my stuff from Chicago. Then my Dad told me that he wanted to leave at 6 am. Now, it's midnight and I'm still unpacking everything in my life that I had in Chicago. Now, I have six hours to pack my life for California. Of course this takes an unnecessarily long time because I keep going online and there's a Growing Pains marathon on, but I managed to finish packing and tear myself away from the Seavers at 4am for an entire hour of sleep.

EXPEDITION AMERICA: DAY 1

My Dad woke me up and we drove, drove, drove...for an hour. We got to Jackson and the roads were bad and the Focus is swerving and fishtailing all over the place. We can barely go 40. Trucks are passing us. This is not good, and since the car is new, we assume of course that something is wrong with it. It takes a good two hours or so to get to Fort Wayne, where we decide to have the car looked at. We pull into a Ford dealership and they look at everything and guess what they find? Nothing. Apparently the roads are just THAT bad. Black ice, people. Ever heard of it? The road where we had the most trouble was now closed because of a jack-knifed semi. My car was fine. Good to know. We end up making our way to Springfield, Missouri, a good 400 miles short of our goal, which was Oklahoma city. Here is a collection of every exciting thing we passed between Novi and Springfield.



That's the long and short of it. We got to Springfield, ate at Pizza Hut, where my parents couldn't get over the three foot mohawk this girl had (which was pretty out of place in Missouri), and I marveled at how much I love southern accents.

DAY 2

We got up super early and drove. This was probably the best/worst time I had with my parents in a long time. The bests included: Noticing that the book my Mom bought to keep track of miles and the trip says "I got your mom's digits" on the front and having to explain to her why that's funny, as well as call everyone I know to tell them. Listening to mariachi on AM radio. Listening to a call-in talk show for truckers on AM. Basically anything on AM radio in Texas. Driving across the Hoover Dam at 3am. My mom asking if the giant spinning things were wind or solar power (hint: they're spinning).



What you are looking at is the largest cross in the Western Hemisphere. We drove by it and the sign says that this is the spiritual experience of a lifetime. So, naturally, I had to share it with you. Sidenote: there is a giant cross exactly like this in Missouri. But that one doesn't have a sign or a giant stage for plays, so I guess it's not as spiritual. It doesn't even have a gift shop to buy a T-Shirt that says "my parents went to the largest cross and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"

The worst parts of Day 2 include but are not limited to...Being in the car for almost 24 hours. Driving past miles, miles, miles, and miles of nothing. Not getting to Vegas until 4 am. Not finding a place to stay in Vegas until 5 am.

Day 3. Vegas, baby.

Vegas isn't exactly my cup of tea. I had fun, this much is true. But it just wasn't all I expected it to be. This could be related to the fact that I went with my parents, who weren't all that interested in drinking and titty bars. I gambled a bit, drank a bit, watched Heroes, drank and gambled some more. We went to downtown Las Vegas which is where the trashy locals go and I think I found it to have more character than the Strip. The strip is like Disney World and downtown Las Vegas is like...a strip mall, essentially.


As you can see, the people flock to downtown Vegas, where the cocktail waitresses are as loose as the slots.

Is this where the new James Bond movie was filmed? I'd say...no.



So the day after Vegas, I think we're on to day 4, we drove to Huntington Beach, where I am now. I had an internship interview, which went well but I can't work until the end of March after class, and the position may be filled by then. The lady said to stay in contact with her about other internships and possibly even something with writers, so that's cool. Someone just called while I was writing this from another production company that works on 24 and did Felicity. It's exciting, but now I have to call and say "sorry, not available until March. Do you love me enough to to call back?"

Last night my Mom's cousins came into town with their kids. I still couldn't tell you who I'm related to, whose name is whose, and who brought the chihuahua, but I do know there were twelve of us. It was a good time. I like getting to know family that I don't know that well. It's like meeting a stranger but already having a bond because you know you're of the same blood, and that they probably sent you money when you graduated High School.

When they left, my mom's cousin gave me a hug. Normal, since she's one of the few people that I actually know. She hugged me pretty tight and for a little bit longer than a normal hug. I was kinda confused but I didn't think much of it. He daughter just moved out here and I am now too and she knows how tough this is for my mom, so it probably had something to do with that. Then I realized that she had lost her oldest daughter in a car accident a few years ago, and that this long hug might have something to do with that. Just kind of makes you think.

The parents left today, so I'm a little glum. My mom was a wreck at the airport. I tried to think of something inspiring and emotional yet clever to say, but instead just shouted out LOOOOOOVE YOOOOOUUUUUUUUU across the street as they went inside. If anything, I embarrassed her enough to stop missing me. You'd think it would be easier since I moved out in 2002, went to Kalamazoo, then Orlando, then Chicago, but I guess not. I got back from the airport just fine, now I'm sitting around. I need to work a LOT on my Earl spec (as in...write the whole thing) because my application for Nickelodeon is due next week. I also want to run. I need to return the blank CD's I bought at Ralph's since they cost like twenty bucks and that's ridiculous, and then I'm going up to Glendale tonight for a barbecue to meet the people I will most likely be living with. So, that's where I am right now. Any questions? Comments? Concerns?

I'm in California. I'm exhausted to the point of brain dead so don't expect a huge update on the cross country trip any time soon.

Alas, I am here. Huntington Beach with my parents for a few days, looking at some places tomorrow and an internship interview(!). Hopefully by next week I'll have a place to hang my Tigers hat. We'll see.

It's after midnight, and I'm writing about Pasta Roni why?

I got bit by the culinary bug tonight and decided to make something fancy. I decided on pasta because it's both easy and satisfying. Also, when you have a pot boiling on the stove, you really feel like you're accomplishing something. It seemed like fun to try something new, so I made shells in a white cheddar sauce, because not only is my palette constantly seeking exotic new tastes, but it was also the only kind of Pasta Roni I had left.

The Pasta Roni box has a large red banner across it that reads "Now Better Tasting!"

I just don't feel that this is a good way to entice buyers to try your product. I mean, my first thought when I read the box was "Oh God, this must have really tasted like shit before if their major selling point is that it no longer tastes like it used to." Then I wondered how this decision came about. Does Pasta Roni have tasting labs? And if so, where are they? I can assure you they are not in Italy because the term "Pasta Roni" is by and large an inexcusable assault on the Italian language.

But most importantly, do you think some jackass actually got a raise for coming up with such a million dollar idea?

President of Pasta Roni: We need to increase sales! Any ideas?
Bob: Soccer tournaments?
Lance: Istanbul?
Peter: Make it taste better?
President of Pasta Roni: GENIUS!!!

Now Peter is sitting in his corner office, sending his kids to expensive private school where they learn to ride horses, and cheating on his wife with his sultry new secretary which he thinks is really exotic because she's Hispanic but really she's from Boise and just tans a lot, all because he had the innovative and cutting-edge idea to make Pasta Roni taste better. And this is just the beginning! Thanks to Peter's intuition, other companies are following suit!

-Ford Motor Company has announced plans to make cars better.

-McDonalds is currently researching methods of making milkshakes taste milkshakier.

-Harold's Chicken Shack will soon begin removing all feathers from the product before deep frying and serving it.

So remember, friends. When life seems tough, and you feel like there's no way out. Before you go reaching for some deadly mixture of opiates and COX-2 inhibitors, think of Peter.

...Then swallow the pills.

Parting gifts

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."
~Gilda Radner

“Whoever starts out toward the unknown must consent to venture alone”
-Andre Gide


Let me preface this entire piece with one statement. I have absolutely no intention of staying in Los Angeles. Okay, okay…don’t take the cork out of the champagne just yet. I have no intention of going back to Chicago, either. So what does this mean? Do I intend to move to Vegas? Boston? Sierra Leone? As passionate as I am about gambling, beans, and conflict diamonds, the answer is sill no. Simply put, I have no intentions at this point. I intend to get a job and to pursue my dream, but at this point, I just see no reason to commit to anything. I’m young. I have options. Let’s just throw the paper airplane and see where it lands, right? For now, all I can guarantee (whenver I write “guarantee,” I sound it out in my head. “Gwar-an-tee.”) is that I’m spending five weeks in LA for school. Where will I be come April 1st? Given the date, I will be committing hijinks and foolery of all sorts, but the location where said foolery will take place? File that under TBD. Wow…that was quite a preface.

This was supposed to be one of my famous “Bye! Love you!” posts, and here I am going on talking about phonetic spelling and April Fool’s Day. Talk about a digression.

The fact of the matter is, I am not sad to leave. I don’t know why. It could be because I was an emotional wreck the entire week, and that well had simply run dry. It could be because I’m just so glad to not be living with a certain someone anymore that the immense amount of ecstasy I’m feeling overpowers any sorrow. Or, maybe…just maybe…I’m not sad to leave because everyone is coming with me.

Don’t let’s be silly, you know I’m speaking figuratively. So don’t start posting sublet ads on Craig’s List and shopping for sandals. You’re all staying put in Chicago. Suckers. How’s the weather, by the way?

Seriously though. Everyone is coming with me, in a way. Let’s have a party. What kind of salsa should I bring? I was thinking mild, just so everyone can eat it.


I will always make an extra effort to please the people important to me. So, Ashley is coming with me.

I will always take the greatest amount of joy in life’s smallest and simplest pleasures. So, Dani is coming with me.

I will always overanalyze every possible outcome of every situation, but ultimately trust my instincts. So, Baggy is coming with me.

I will always look for ways to shake life up, even if it means a few ferocious fights now and then. So, Kara is coming with me.

I will always clap my hands and cheer like an adolescent every time something funny happens. So, Jeff is coming with me.

I will always be loyal to my friends. So, Dave is coming with me.

I will always make left turns when most people seem to be going right. So, Christian is coming with me.

I will always maintain a healthy balance of competitive edge and sincerity. So, Jenny is coming with me.

I will always say the most random things at the most inappropriate times. So, Jess is coming with me.

Moving away is scary. The unknown is terrifying. Goodbyes can be tragic. But I’m just not seeing that this time. Maybe leaving Western and Disney has desensitized me to the whole thing, but I’m just not feeling any of that gloom right now. I’m excited to be moving on with my life and to try new things. I’m finally going to pursue what I’ve wanted to do all my life, and it’s exciting. I wish everyone actually could come with. In a physical sense, not just some cheesy sentimental blog post way. But at the same time, I love the fact that I have friends all over the world. And I know that all the people who are important to me will not be leaving my life any time soon.

A beautiful Outlook on things.

Every so often, mankind comes forth with a new invention that does more than turn the pages of the book of time. It creates a new chapter entirely. The automobile. Chemotherapy. Youtube. What do these three creations have in common? They have improved our lives in ways we never thought possibly. Little did I know, however, that an even more groundbreaking invention had been brought to life. And it slipped right past me, without so much as a peep. Right under my nose this whole time, and hidden in my Start Menu. It's name?

Microsoft Outlook.

Not since iTunes has a program that comes standard with all computers made my life so much easier. Of course having instant access to my gmail account without signing onto the internet is great, but that's only the tip of the iceberg. Hell, Outlook isn't even an iceberg, it's a glacier. A giant frozen mass of organized convenience.

To say I like to keep lists of things to do would be as heavy an understatement as saying that Hitler had a mild distaste for Jews. I love lists. With everything that is pure in my heart, I love making lists of things that I need to get done. Luckily, with school, work, an upcoming graduation, and moving across the country next week, I have plenty of things to add to my list on a daily basis. With Outlook, I have a checklist of the eighteen trillion things that I need to get done. I do still carry around my Far Side planner so that I can scrawl things like "ask Dad about exhaust filter" into every square inch of free space. But once I get home, make no mistake, I happily transfer each and every task, no matter how trivial, into my Outlook Task folder.

On top of that, there's a Calender and Contacts list as well. Why haven't I been using this since 2003? Tell me that. Please. Enlighten me as to why it took me this long to actually open this godsend of computer software.

On an unrelated but equally relevant topic (although major Steve points* will be awarded to anyone who can find an interesting connection), Anna Nicole Smith died. Isn't that insane? Brynne, who you may remember from Chapter One and Chapter Ten texted me earlier to tell me. Initially, I didn't believe her. I had a few reasons to be less than credulous to her claim. Namely, the time I told her that the Crocodile Hunter had died. This was several years before he actually did die (which, in retrospect, coats the entire story in a dark shade of irony). So naturally I just assumed this was a lie and that Brynne was getting back at me for a trick I played on her almost eight years ago. But I decided to check the internet, as it is seemingly so reliable to begin with, and see for myself. Lo and behold, it made front page news as CNN.com. Brynne was telling the truth.




*Steve points can only be redeemed for sarcastic comments, witty insights, or valuable life lessons. They cannot be exchanged for cash value and are not redeemable in Idaho, Wyoming, and parts of New Jersey.

I'm not pro-protest

I don't understand these student protests against the Bush Administration. Okay, let me clarify. I understand why students want to protest, and their point of view on everything, but what I don't understand is their incessant need to skip class in order to rally. I feel as though there are more Anti-Bush protests in a month than there are Fridays. What baffles me the most is how these organizations are always calling for students to skip class that day to make a statement. First of all, you're in college. No one gives a shit if you skip class. The only statement that's making is "I didn't go to class today." Students make that statement on a daily basis, regardless of the Bush Administration and genocide in Iraq. Second, you're PAYING to go to school. Dollars come out of your pocket and go to your college, and in return, you get to attend class, learn, get a piece of paper, and maybe (if you're lucky) get a job. So, what part of skipping class to protest makes sense from an economical standpoint? To me, it's like going to the grocery store, buying a dozen boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and then protesting Hershey's Candy by not eating your cereal. Can't you protest on a Saturday? Can't all of the organizations who put these together come together to form one big one? Flaws. All I see are flaws.

In terms of LA, everything is going well. I got a car yesterday. A Focus. Liquid Grey. Here are a few true facts about why I got a car.
1. I'm graduating and I'm going to need one anyway.
2. LA is not a commuter city.
3. I'm under 25 and it is more economical to drive out there than rent one.
4. Since my Dad works for Ford and knows people and gets discounts, its better for me to get a car here.

My sublet may have fallen through. Sucks, because I was going to have my own bedroom and bathroom in a virtually empty house with all utilities (even internet and cleaning service) included for $600 a month. But it was only a temporary thing anyway, so I'm not going to worry about it. Once I get to California I'll stay with my Aunt and Uncle until I find a place.

I'm going to get a part-time job right away. Well, maybe not right away, but soon. Nothing too rigorous. But since SLA is supposed to be rather calm and easy, there's no reason I can't work 10-15 hours a week somewhere. I'm going to be more picky about it though. The days of My Pi and Campus Colors are over. I'd like to find a job relevant to what I want to do in life, but that might not happen right away. As it is now, I have saved enough money for almost two months of rent and an Improv class at Groundlings. But I don't have enough for food or any other per diem expenses ("per diem", as you know, is latin for "Busty Prostitutes") Plus there's that car I'm going to need to start paying for eventually. Oh wow, I'm growing up. I gots bills to pay.

I may have some connections to get myself an internship at Ellen. Also, there's the lady at NBC. On top of that, my portfolio advisor really liked me and told me to keep in touch with him and he may be able to get me a job as a PA or something on a new show called Swingtown, if it gets picked up. On top of that I'm applying for an internship at The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (pays really, really well, but super selective. I'll never get it), and a one-year writing fellowship at Nickelodeon, which also pays.

So, my days are usually spent working on essays, a spec script, my resume, getting letters of recommendation, and emailing people.

Jess will know exactly where I got THIS from!

Soooo it's late and I can't sleep because as I was going through all of the stuff that I moved out of the apartment today it finally hit me that I'm leaving in two weeks. I am not ready for this. Gah...

Sooo I needed something to distract me from myself. It was either an internet survey or tear all my hair out and bawl hysterically. I think I made the right choice.


What's your middle name?
-- Michael

How big is your bed?
-- Ummm if you want to sleep with me just ask. It's a futon, btw.

What are you listening to right now?
-- Our Lady Peace "Somewhere Out There" (I'll probably be listening to it non-stop for the next month)

what are the last 4 digits in your cell #?
-- First the bed question and now this? Perv. 3670, although I remember fondly the days of 0464.

Last thing you ate?
-- Some peanuts

Last person you hugged?
-- Oh wow...ummm.....I'm not a hugger, really. I don't even know.

How is the weather right now?
-- BITTER! FRIGID!

Last person I talked to on the phone?
-- My mom.

First thing I notice about the opposite sex?
-- Teeth.

Favorite type of food?
-- I really really like tacos.

Do you want children?
-- Yeah. I think I do.

Do you drink?
-- Is Paula Abdul's body saturated with painkillers?

Ever got so drunk you don't remember a night?
-- I ususally remember most of it.

Hair color?
-- Blonde.

Eye color?
-- I'm bored with this?

Do you wear glasses/ contacts?
-- UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. contacts.

Favorite holiday?
-- Halloween and Christmas. Too hard to choose.

Favorite season?
-- Summer

Have you ever cried over a boy?
-- Oh wow. This is getting a touch personal. No. I haven't.

Last movie you watched?
-- The Descent. Scarrrrry.

What books are you reading?
-- The Comic Toolbox

Piercings?
-- There was the famous canadian cartilage piercing but that's been gone since the second week of Disney.

Favorite movie?
-- I Heart Huckabees or Very Bad Things

Favorite college football team?
-- GO BRONCOS!

What were you doing before filling this out?
-- Going insane.

Any pets?
-- no.

Favorite flower?
-- Pussywillow.

Have you ever loved someone?
-- Maybe. But probably not.

Who would you like to see right now?
-- Seriously? Anyone.

Have you ever fired a gun?
-- no.

Do you like to travel by plane?
-- Shit no. I thought I was gonna throw up on the way to Orlando.

Right hand or left hand?
-- right.

If you could go to any place right now, where would you go?
-- The University Center circa 2005

Are you missing someone?
-- yes. more than just one some.

Do you have a tattoo?
-- Nope. Maybe one day.

Do you still watch cartoons on sat. mornings?
-- You think I'm up for cartoons on saturday morning? Well, actually I am. But the answer to that is no. I don't.

Are you hiding something from someone?
-- Come on, who isn't?

Are you 18?
-- 22

What is on the wallpaper of your cell phone?
-- Shilo

Did you get enough sleep last night?
-- no! Power Hour and then getting up for work at 8. I'm exhausted.

First thing you thought about this morning?
-- Yesssssss I don't have a hangover.

Grilled or fried?
-- grilled. Fried food kind of grosses me out. But I'll eat anything when I'm starving.

What makes you unique?
-- Random, sarcastic, wildly inappropriate, sentimental jackass

Are you afraid of the dark?
-- Not so much.

Favorite hangout place?
-- I don't think I have a favorite place. Anywhere with fun people is good.

3 things you can't live without?
-- chips & salsa (which count as one thing, so STFU with that), television, my friends.

Favorite song?
-- Buckcherry "For The Movies"

What are you afraid of?
-- death

Are you a giver or taker?
-- both

Do you have nicknames, what?
-- Ooooh here we go:
Scooby, Brita, Brita Steve, Baby Shoe, Baby Steve, Steve-O, Stevicus, Peg, Peglet, Mr. Peg, Pegasaurus, Peggington

What is your dads middle name?
-- Francis. Okay this survey is making me mad.

What is your mothers middle name?
-- Theresa

Stuck on a deserted island & could take one thing?
-- A boat? Nah...definitely my George Foreman grill.

Favorite tv commercial?
-- The one where Ellen is working with animals. I laugh out loud.

Whos your cell phone provider?
-- T-Mobile. Stick Together.

First thing you'll save in a fire?
-- computer. Or a roommate. (computer)

What are the things you always take with you?
-- phone. wallet. keys.

What did you wanan be when you were a kid?
-- Famous.

What do you usually do when the clock hits 11:11?
-- Sacrifice four goats and drink the blood of a virgin while doing sand art?

What about you think about before bed?
-- Regrets.