Every so often, mankind comes forth with a new invention that does more than turn the pages of the book of time. It creates a new chapter entirely. The automobile. Chemotherapy. Youtube. What do these three creations have in common? They have improved our lives in ways we never thought possibly. Little did I know, however, that an even more groundbreaking invention had been brought to life. And it slipped right past me, without so much as a peep. Right under my nose this whole time, and hidden in my Start Menu. It's name?
Microsoft Outlook.
Not since iTunes has a program that comes standard with all computers made my life so much easier. Of course having instant access to my gmail account without signing onto the internet is great, but that's only the tip of the iceberg. Hell, Outlook isn't even an iceberg, it's a glacier. A giant frozen mass of organized convenience.
To say I like to keep lists of things to do would be as heavy an understatement as saying that Hitler had a mild distaste for Jews. I love lists. With everything that is pure in my heart, I love making lists of things that I need to get done. Luckily, with school, work, an upcoming graduation, and moving across the country next week, I have plenty of things to add to my list on a daily basis. With Outlook, I have a checklist of the eighteen trillion things that I need to get done. I do still carry around my Far Side planner so that I can scrawl things like "ask Dad about exhaust filter" into every square inch of free space. But once I get home, make no mistake, I happily transfer each and every task, no matter how trivial, into my Outlook Task folder.
On top of that, there's a Calender and Contacts list as well. Why haven't I been using this since 2003? Tell me that. Please. Enlighten me as to why it took me this long to actually open this godsend of computer software.
On an unrelated but equally relevant topic (although major Steve points* will be awarded to anyone who can find an interesting connection), Anna Nicole Smith died. Isn't that insane? Brynne, who you may remember from Chapter One and Chapter Ten texted me earlier to tell me. Initially, I didn't believe her. I had a few reasons to be less than credulous to her claim. Namely, the time I told her that the Crocodile Hunter had died. This was several years before he actually did die (which, in retrospect, coats the entire story in a dark shade of irony). So naturally I just assumed this was a lie and that Brynne was getting back at me for a trick I played on her almost eight years ago. But I decided to check the internet, as it is seemingly so reliable to begin with, and see for myself. Lo and behold, it made front page news as CNN.com. Brynne was telling the truth.
*Steve points can only be redeemed for sarcastic comments, witty insights, or valuable life lessons. They cannot be exchanged for cash value and are not redeemable in Idaho, Wyoming, and parts of New Jersey.
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3 comments:
RIP! She wanted to be just like Marilyn Monroe and I guess she got it! Oh, and I enjoy label printing too!
Anna Nicole you're gone,
at this no one will yawn.
You had so much left on your list,
but your life ceased to persist.
Trim spa will miss your flavor,
but your body forever will old creepy men savor.
The End.
Outlook? It began as a wonderful tool in my life, only to quickly transition to the bane of my happy existence in an office environment. BUT. There was still hope. Overhead, like an auspicious omen, flew the great Thunderbird. A deity from the pagan internet purists of the "Mozilla" tribe, just as their god of gods Firefox brought clean, safe internet browsing, Thunderbird did so to replace outlook. I suggest, no insist, that you experience thunderbird's glory, may it show you the light of a thousand days
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