Parting gifts

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."
~Gilda Radner

“Whoever starts out toward the unknown must consent to venture alone”
-Andre Gide


Let me preface this entire piece with one statement. I have absolutely no intention of staying in Los Angeles. Okay, okay…don’t take the cork out of the champagne just yet. I have no intention of going back to Chicago, either. So what does this mean? Do I intend to move to Vegas? Boston? Sierra Leone? As passionate as I am about gambling, beans, and conflict diamonds, the answer is sill no. Simply put, I have no intentions at this point. I intend to get a job and to pursue my dream, but at this point, I just see no reason to commit to anything. I’m young. I have options. Let’s just throw the paper airplane and see where it lands, right? For now, all I can guarantee (whenver I write “guarantee,” I sound it out in my head. “Gwar-an-tee.”) is that I’m spending five weeks in LA for school. Where will I be come April 1st? Given the date, I will be committing hijinks and foolery of all sorts, but the location where said foolery will take place? File that under TBD. Wow…that was quite a preface.

This was supposed to be one of my famous “Bye! Love you!” posts, and here I am going on talking about phonetic spelling and April Fool’s Day. Talk about a digression.

The fact of the matter is, I am not sad to leave. I don’t know why. It could be because I was an emotional wreck the entire week, and that well had simply run dry. It could be because I’m just so glad to not be living with a certain someone anymore that the immense amount of ecstasy I’m feeling overpowers any sorrow. Or, maybe…just maybe…I’m not sad to leave because everyone is coming with me.

Don’t let’s be silly, you know I’m speaking figuratively. So don’t start posting sublet ads on Craig’s List and shopping for sandals. You’re all staying put in Chicago. Suckers. How’s the weather, by the way?

Seriously though. Everyone is coming with me, in a way. Let’s have a party. What kind of salsa should I bring? I was thinking mild, just so everyone can eat it.


I will always make an extra effort to please the people important to me. So, Ashley is coming with me.

I will always take the greatest amount of joy in life’s smallest and simplest pleasures. So, Dani is coming with me.

I will always overanalyze every possible outcome of every situation, but ultimately trust my instincts. So, Baggy is coming with me.

I will always look for ways to shake life up, even if it means a few ferocious fights now and then. So, Kara is coming with me.

I will always clap my hands and cheer like an adolescent every time something funny happens. So, Jeff is coming with me.

I will always be loyal to my friends. So, Dave is coming with me.

I will always make left turns when most people seem to be going right. So, Christian is coming with me.

I will always maintain a healthy balance of competitive edge and sincerity. So, Jenny is coming with me.

I will always say the most random things at the most inappropriate times. So, Jess is coming with me.

Moving away is scary. The unknown is terrifying. Goodbyes can be tragic. But I’m just not seeing that this time. Maybe leaving Western and Disney has desensitized me to the whole thing, but I’m just not feeling any of that gloom right now. I’m excited to be moving on with my life and to try new things. I’m finally going to pursue what I’ve wanted to do all my life, and it’s exciting. I wish everyone actually could come with. In a physical sense, not just some cheesy sentimental blog post way. But at the same time, I love the fact that I have friends all over the world. And I know that all the people who are important to me will not be leaving my life any time soon.