Thursday, November 30, 2006
creative purge
So I've decided that every night before bed, I am going to write. Not a blog. Not random, numbered facts. A story. Most likely in script form, although I would not rule out a short story or something at some point. Five pages, maximum each night (if it's in script format, that is). Maybe it's a scene from a bigger story I've come up with. Maybe the whole story is only that five pages. Who knows. But I've always got some crazy stories swimming around in my head and it's time to start getting them out. Maybe I'll even post some of them on here from time to time ("Me being the completely self-absorbed person that I am, I have decided that...blah blah blah").
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Steve's Morning- The "Make A Spash" Edition
By the time I finished this blog, I had to go to class. Guess I'll have to work on making my show funnier later today.
My shoes are in the dryer right now. I hope I don't break it. I remember watching "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer," and there was a scene where Brandy put her sneakers in the dryer and Jennifer Love Hewitt yelled at her. Later on in the movie Brandy found the maid's head in the dryer when she opened it up thinking that the clunking noise she heard was a pair of shoes. Brandy lived in the end. So the moral of the story is...go ahead and put your shoes in the dryer. Someone else may die, but It doesn't affect you. I felt kind of bad at first, as I walked away and heard the pounding of my New Balances as they were tossed about inside the machine. What if I break the dryer? But now that I'm back upstairs in my apartment, I can't hear it, and I left that concern down in the basement with my shoes.
When I came home, I was soaking wet. My shoes and socks were squishy and soggy. For as much as I love playing in water, I do hate the feeling of wet socks.
Before I had even stepped off the train, I had decided not to stay dry. I love walking in the rain. I especially love jumping in puddles. I think everyone has one small thing that they enjoy from their childhood that is considered unacceptable by the standards of grown-ups. Mine is puddles. Good thing I was ready to get wet, because not only was the rain still coming down hard, but Altgeld and Montana were actually flooded. It was at least three inches of water that I had to traverse. Other people would have had to walk all the way back to Fullerton and then walk on the actual street up Sheffield in order to avoid Lake Montana, but not puddle-hoppin' Steve. I dove right in.
It was pouring when the train went above ground after North/Clybourn. Literally pouring. You couldn't even see drops of water, it seemed like Lincoln Park was under a giant faucet. What was even more unsettling was the fact that fifteen minutes ago, when I got on the train at Harrison, it wasn't raining at all. Now, less than twenty minutes later, the streets were flooded.
I felt bad for being late for my meeting, and my teacher had a good point. On my way out of the 600 building I decided that I was going to sit down at some point today and really figure out what makes my show funny. I'd also email it to the teacher, not only to show him more of my ideas but also as a form of sucking up since I wanted to make up for being tardy. I wasn't walking the dog until later, so maybe I'd have time before I left for school again this afternoon?
I finally showed up to the meeting at about 9:55, giving us less than five minutes to actually talk about Leper High. We did end up talking for quite some time, and he seems to like the direction I'm taking the show. He brought up a good point though. What makes LH funny? Sure, I can take any episode idea and write a story that's funny, but what is the underlying humor of the actual concept? High School kids have leprosy. Yeah, that's funny. But how far can you go with that? The show won't last if it's just a one trick pony. The leprosy joke will wear out eventually.
I checked my phone while I was on the train. We were at the Lake stop. Fuck, already 9:48? I'm twenty minutes late and still ten minutes away! And what a terrible Red Eye. I didn't even read most of it.
Didn't leave until 9:20. Not a good idea, especially since I had a meeting with my TV Program Development teacher at 9:30. Oh well, guess I'm gonna be late. The weather wasn't bad when I left the apartment. I still wore my gloves, but it wasn't terribly cold. I always wear my gloves, anyway. I may never bring an umbrella, but at least I have my gloves in case there's a sudden drop in temperature. Speaking of umbrellas, I hope it doesn't rain today...
I woke up this morning and started getting ready for school.
My shoes are in the dryer right now. I hope I don't break it. I remember watching "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer," and there was a scene where Brandy put her sneakers in the dryer and Jennifer Love Hewitt yelled at her. Later on in the movie Brandy found the maid's head in the dryer when she opened it up thinking that the clunking noise she heard was a pair of shoes. Brandy lived in the end. So the moral of the story is...go ahead and put your shoes in the dryer. Someone else may die, but It doesn't affect you. I felt kind of bad at first, as I walked away and heard the pounding of my New Balances as they were tossed about inside the machine. What if I break the dryer? But now that I'm back upstairs in my apartment, I can't hear it, and I left that concern down in the basement with my shoes.
When I came home, I was soaking wet. My shoes and socks were squishy and soggy. For as much as I love playing in water, I do hate the feeling of wet socks.
Before I had even stepped off the train, I had decided not to stay dry. I love walking in the rain. I especially love jumping in puddles. I think everyone has one small thing that they enjoy from their childhood that is considered unacceptable by the standards of grown-ups. Mine is puddles. Good thing I was ready to get wet, because not only was the rain still coming down hard, but Altgeld and Montana were actually flooded. It was at least three inches of water that I had to traverse. Other people would have had to walk all the way back to Fullerton and then walk on the actual street up Sheffield in order to avoid Lake Montana, but not puddle-hoppin' Steve. I dove right in.
It was pouring when the train went above ground after North/Clybourn. Literally pouring. You couldn't even see drops of water, it seemed like Lincoln Park was under a giant faucet. What was even more unsettling was the fact that fifteen minutes ago, when I got on the train at Harrison, it wasn't raining at all. Now, less than twenty minutes later, the streets were flooded.
I felt bad for being late for my meeting, and my teacher had a good point. On my way out of the 600 building I decided that I was going to sit down at some point today and really figure out what makes my show funny. I'd also email it to the teacher, not only to show him more of my ideas but also as a form of sucking up since I wanted to make up for being tardy. I wasn't walking the dog until later, so maybe I'd have time before I left for school again this afternoon?
I finally showed up to the meeting at about 9:55, giving us less than five minutes to actually talk about Leper High. We did end up talking for quite some time, and he seems to like the direction I'm taking the show. He brought up a good point though. What makes LH funny? Sure, I can take any episode idea and write a story that's funny, but what is the underlying humor of the actual concept? High School kids have leprosy. Yeah, that's funny. But how far can you go with that? The show won't last if it's just a one trick pony. The leprosy joke will wear out eventually.
I checked my phone while I was on the train. We were at the Lake stop. Fuck, already 9:48? I'm twenty minutes late and still ten minutes away! And what a terrible Red Eye. I didn't even read most of it.
Didn't leave until 9:20. Not a good idea, especially since I had a meeting with my TV Program Development teacher at 9:30. Oh well, guess I'm gonna be late. The weather wasn't bad when I left the apartment. I still wore my gloves, but it wasn't terribly cold. I always wear my gloves, anyway. I may never bring an umbrella, but at least I have my gloves in case there's a sudden drop in temperature. Speaking of umbrellas, I hope it doesn't rain today...
I woke up this morning and started getting ready for school.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
A Mile-High Pity
Wait a minute…didn’t The Real World Key West just end like..I don’t know…THIS MORNING? Seems like I was just witnessing the antics of Svetlana and…ummm…I guess that’s the only name I remember. Whatever the case may be…it’s already time for another one. Although, from the looks of it, they could easily be using the exact same cast as the last three seasons. I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Remember Frankie? I miss her. Good ol’ boat-fearin’ self-mutilatin’ freak show Frankie. I hope she's well.
MTV claims this is an entirely new group of seven strangers, so I’ll just go with the flow. Here they are…
Meet Colie! She’s graduating college! In New Orleans! Don’t think MTV won’t use this as an opportunity for an “emotional” montage of Hurricane Katrina‘s devastation. They're trying to tug at the heartstrings. Keep tugging. Colie is the first person we meet in the cast. We also spend the longest amount of time with her. This shows three things.
1. Colie is the “every man” of the group, whom we will relate with the most.
2. Colie will be the last person to leave the house on the final episode.
3. I’m already fucking sick of her. She kind of looks like Claire Forlani’s lanky and awkward brother.
Meet Jenn! She’s a dancer for the Oakland Raiders! She loves to party! She is a board-certified neurosurgeon. Can you guess which one of those I made up?
Meet Tyrie! Black guy from Omaha. Wait…black guy from Omaha? How’d he get there? He refers to Jenn’s chest as “Silocone Valleys.” I throw up a little on my keyboard.
Meet Alex! ASU student. Majoring in Psych. AKA: going to be on a million RW/RR Challenges when he can’t get a real job. (See: The Miz).
Meet Brooke! Doe-eyed southern belle. She wants an adventure and to meet new people and learn new things. Blah blah blah...
Meet Stephen! He goes to a historically black college. Wait..what? Another black guy? Wasn't there a Tyrie, or something? Omaha? Wait, did the Real World Denver already end? Is this a new season? I’m confused….there couldn’t be TWO black guys...What's going on!?
Meet Davis! He’s a Souther Baptist. Loves church. So does Stephen! They bond over their love of God. They’re gonna go to church together. (Sidenote: Davis is obviously the gay one. Shhhh we‘re not supposed to know yet!)
The Denver house basically looks like every other Real World house of recent years. Crazy weird furniture that looks entirely too uncomfortable to actually sit on. Strange props such all over the place. Wait…is that a ski lift chair? The bar is a Jeep? The cast goes crazy and loses their shit over the whole place. Wow, like you’ve never seen a giant fish tank before?
Davis wonders if Stephen will have a religious issue with “some of the things he brings into the house.” Yeah, he’s gay but it’s a secret. Didn’t I already say that? If that's not an obvious giveaway, I don't know what is...
Everyone goes to get alcohol, because MTV apparently didn’t stock the house (Which I find hard to believe). Colie and Davis stay behind. They are in the hot tub talking and Davis admits to being gay, but says he isn’t ready to tell anyone. Wait…didn’t we already know that he was gay? Meanwhile, Stephen is ranting about homosexuals and how wrong and bad they are. Oh wow. This is the first time in my memory that I can think of a gay guy on The Real World having a hard time being accepted. Oh, except for the original Real World. And San Francisco. And Hawaii. And Key West. And Paris. Chicago...Miami...I mean…just off the top of my head. But aside from that…The Real World 18 is TOTALLY original.
Truth or Dare time. Jenn says that she is totally cool with making out and getting drunk. Wow. Color me shocked. One of the black guys tells Alex to make out with Colie’s neck. Deep down I hope he bites her jugular. That would make things slightly less predictable at this point. Plus I hate Colie.
Alex and Colie flirt and make out. They go to bed together. The next day, Colie can’t keep her mouth shut about Alex, even though nobody is listening to her. Not Jenn. Not Brooke. Not even me. I’m programming my voice mail and thinking about what I want for dinner.
After a long day of laying in the sun, Jenn decides that she is so tired and needs to shower and relax in bed. You deserve it, girl. It’s been a long day. I mean after all that tanning, you must be EXHAUSTED.
Brooke is once again complaining that nobody is gay. Little does she know Davis is talking about his big queer lifestyle in the other room, with his sister Garland. Wait…Garland? Are you serious?
….GARLAND?!!?
Having consumed the entire suppy of liquor in the house, the cast heads to a bar to do some mid-afternoon drinking. Laughs and good times. Until JENN ASKS IF ANYONE IS GAY! OH GOD JENN! DAVIS IS! BUT STEPHEN IS A HOMOPHOBIC! AND HE’S HIS ROOMMATE! OH NO! Stephen admits to having “a bad perception of what gay people are.” Which you have to admit, is a lot more eloquent than “Damn! I hate fags!” Stephen just cant BELIEVE it, though. Davis seemed so straight! How can he be gay? Stephen confesses to the camera that this is a totally different experience than he thought it would be. Ummm..I knew there’d be a gay guy. Everyone else knew there’d be a gay guy. Dumb Brooke even knew there’d be a gay guy. What were you expecting? The notion of two African Americans in the house has definitely thrown all of our perceptions off.
Apparently, Davis’ mom thinks he’s going to hell. She hates him. I can’t wait for her to visit. Her and Stephen can burn pictures of Matthew Shepard and protest funerals together.
Tattoo talk. Alex shows everyone his ridiculous tattoo on his upper thigh, which says “Hey!” Not to be outdone when it comes to being an unoriginal dumbass, Jenn proclaims how badly she wants a tattoo of lips on her ass. Get it? “Kiss my ass?” Ohhhh Jenn. She's a party girl, did you know?
The gang comes home from a night of volunteer work...I mean...drinking. Alex and Colie plan to go to bed together. Alex tells her he’ll meet her upstairs in twenty minutes. And what does he need this twenty minutes for? To do shots with cheerleader Jenn, of course. Colie is now upstairs PTFO’d while Alex and Jenn start making out downstairs. The two of them put a pizza in the oven and go make out in the guest room. Colie wakes up, which we are supposed to believe is because the timer from the oven went off, but I imagine that one of the producers threw a shoe at her so that she would get up and go downstairs.
Alex breaks Colie’s heart by saying he doesn’t want to hook up with roommates. See, Colie is playing the part of the girl with an unrequited infatuation for another roommate who will never get a fucking clue. This is something we haven’t seen before, either! Except for the original Real World. And Las Vegas. And San Diego. And Philadelphia. Boston. Hawaii. New Orleans…
Alex, after telling Colie he doesn’t want to hook up with a roommate, goes off with Jenn and seals the deal. Leading us to the quote of the night.
“And then I realize….oh my god. I’m having sex.”
-Jenn
MTV claims this is an entirely new group of seven strangers, so I’ll just go with the flow. Here they are…
Meet Colie! She’s graduating college! In New Orleans! Don’t think MTV won’t use this as an opportunity for an “emotional” montage of Hurricane Katrina‘s devastation. They're trying to tug at the heartstrings. Keep tugging. Colie is the first person we meet in the cast. We also spend the longest amount of time with her. This shows three things.
1. Colie is the “every man” of the group, whom we will relate with the most.
2. Colie will be the last person to leave the house on the final episode.
3. I’m already fucking sick of her. She kind of looks like Claire Forlani’s lanky and awkward brother.
Meet Jenn! She’s a dancer for the Oakland Raiders! She loves to party! She is a board-certified neurosurgeon. Can you guess which one of those I made up?
Meet Tyrie! Black guy from Omaha. Wait…black guy from Omaha? How’d he get there? He refers to Jenn’s chest as “Silocone Valleys.” I throw up a little on my keyboard.
Meet Alex! ASU student. Majoring in Psych. AKA: going to be on a million RW/RR Challenges when he can’t get a real job. (See: The Miz).
Meet Brooke! Doe-eyed southern belle. She wants an adventure and to meet new people and learn new things. Blah blah blah...
Meet Stephen! He goes to a historically black college. Wait..what? Another black guy? Wasn't there a Tyrie, or something? Omaha? Wait, did the Real World Denver already end? Is this a new season? I’m confused….there couldn’t be TWO black guys...What's going on!?
Meet Davis! He’s a Souther Baptist. Loves church. So does Stephen! They bond over their love of God. They’re gonna go to church together. (Sidenote: Davis is obviously the gay one. Shhhh we‘re not supposed to know yet!)
The Denver house basically looks like every other Real World house of recent years. Crazy weird furniture that looks entirely too uncomfortable to actually sit on. Strange props such all over the place. Wait…is that a ski lift chair? The bar is a Jeep? The cast goes crazy and loses their shit over the whole place. Wow, like you’ve never seen a giant fish tank before?
Davis wonders if Stephen will have a religious issue with “some of the things he brings into the house.” Yeah, he’s gay but it’s a secret. Didn’t I already say that? If that's not an obvious giveaway, I don't know what is...
Everyone goes to get alcohol, because MTV apparently didn’t stock the house (Which I find hard to believe). Colie and Davis stay behind. They are in the hot tub talking and Davis admits to being gay, but says he isn’t ready to tell anyone. Wait…didn’t we already know that he was gay? Meanwhile, Stephen is ranting about homosexuals and how wrong and bad they are. Oh wow. This is the first time in my memory that I can think of a gay guy on The Real World having a hard time being accepted. Oh, except for the original Real World. And San Francisco. And Hawaii. And Key West. And Paris. Chicago...Miami...I mean…just off the top of my head. But aside from that…The Real World 18 is TOTALLY original.
Truth or Dare time. Jenn says that she is totally cool with making out and getting drunk. Wow. Color me shocked. One of the black guys tells Alex to make out with Colie’s neck. Deep down I hope he bites her jugular. That would make things slightly less predictable at this point. Plus I hate Colie.
Alex and Colie flirt and make out. They go to bed together. The next day, Colie can’t keep her mouth shut about Alex, even though nobody is listening to her. Not Jenn. Not Brooke. Not even me. I’m programming my voice mail and thinking about what I want for dinner.
After a long day of laying in the sun, Jenn decides that she is so tired and needs to shower and relax in bed. You deserve it, girl. It’s been a long day. I mean after all that tanning, you must be EXHAUSTED.
Brooke is once again complaining that nobody is gay. Little does she know Davis is talking about his big queer lifestyle in the other room, with his sister Garland. Wait…Garland? Are you serious?
….GARLAND?!!?
Having consumed the entire suppy of liquor in the house, the cast heads to a bar to do some mid-afternoon drinking. Laughs and good times. Until JENN ASKS IF ANYONE IS GAY! OH GOD JENN! DAVIS IS! BUT STEPHEN IS A HOMOPHOBIC! AND HE’S HIS ROOMMATE! OH NO! Stephen admits to having “a bad perception of what gay people are.” Which you have to admit, is a lot more eloquent than “Damn! I hate fags!” Stephen just cant BELIEVE it, though. Davis seemed so straight! How can he be gay? Stephen confesses to the camera that this is a totally different experience than he thought it would be. Ummm..I knew there’d be a gay guy. Everyone else knew there’d be a gay guy. Dumb Brooke even knew there’d be a gay guy. What were you expecting? The notion of two African Americans in the house has definitely thrown all of our perceptions off.
Apparently, Davis’ mom thinks he’s going to hell. She hates him. I can’t wait for her to visit. Her and Stephen can burn pictures of Matthew Shepard and protest funerals together.
Tattoo talk. Alex shows everyone his ridiculous tattoo on his upper thigh, which says “Hey!” Not to be outdone when it comes to being an unoriginal dumbass, Jenn proclaims how badly she wants a tattoo of lips on her ass. Get it? “Kiss my ass?” Ohhhh Jenn. She's a party girl, did you know?
The gang comes home from a night of volunteer work...I mean...drinking. Alex and Colie plan to go to bed together. Alex tells her he’ll meet her upstairs in twenty minutes. And what does he need this twenty minutes for? To do shots with cheerleader Jenn, of course. Colie is now upstairs PTFO’d while Alex and Jenn start making out downstairs. The two of them put a pizza in the oven and go make out in the guest room. Colie wakes up, which we are supposed to believe is because the timer from the oven went off, but I imagine that one of the producers threw a shoe at her so that she would get up and go downstairs.
Alex breaks Colie’s heart by saying he doesn’t want to hook up with roommates. See, Colie is playing the part of the girl with an unrequited infatuation for another roommate who will never get a fucking clue. This is something we haven’t seen before, either! Except for the original Real World. And Las Vegas. And San Diego. And Philadelphia. Boston. Hawaii. New Orleans…
Alex, after telling Colie he doesn’t want to hook up with a roommate, goes off with Jenn and seals the deal. Leading us to the quote of the night.
“And then I realize….oh my god. I’m having sex.”
-Jenn
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
the TRUE story of Thanksgiving!! and educational essay
Back in the day, before America was discovered by the white man, it was owned and operated by Native Americans. Only, since the country was not yet named "America," they did not call themselves Native Americans. That name was just one of the many gifts that they were given, along with guns, alcohol, and blankets infected with smallpox. So anyway, the Natives were totally into mother earth and all that. They grew crops and believed in all sorts of spiritual stuff about the ground and trees, or whatever. They sure did love them some nature.
So eventually, white people came over to America and pretty much started to have their way with it. The pilgrims came over on the Mayflower in 1620, and they were all "Holy shit, our harvests are going to be mad bountiful, yo. Jesus is the MAN! He totally wants us here, because like...England is fucking awesome and shit."
Apparently, since the pilgrims didn't have any sort of AccuWeather forecast or Doppler radar, they weren't quite prepared for the weather. The biggest mistake they made would probably be arriving in the Winter. That's kind of stupid. But tickets were cheaper, since it was an off-peak travel time. Things weren't good, and a bunch of them started dying of pneumonia and consumption. Consumption was actually what they called tuberculosis. With a name like that, you'd think it wasn't all that bad. Especially since it's a story about Thanksgiving, consumption sounds nice. But actually it was their body being "consumed" by disease, not their delicious turkey and cornbread stuffing being "consumed" by hungry pilgrims.
Anyway...there were only like 100 pilgrims that came on the Mayflower to begin with. And it was no Carnival Cruise. The people were dropping like flies. At one point, less than ten of them were even well enough to go get food and water and stuff. Eventually a tribe of Natives felt sorry for the poor bastards and decided to help. One dude, named Squanto, stayed and lived with the pilgrims and gave them animal skins and taught them how to get vegetables and basically how to survive, since the pilgrims clearly had no fucking idea what they were doing. England certainly hadn't sent their finest. Which makes sense...I mean...why risk the good ones?
Pilgrims started surviving, and due to what I can only imagine was an insatiable sexual appetite, they even started to reproduce a little. Their harvest that year was apparently really good, although compared to eating dirt and grass, anything would seem super. The survivors decided to have a little "Thank God we're not dead like those other suckers" feast, to give thanks and praise to God and stuff. Since Squanto had been so cool, they decided to invite a few Indians and their families. What they didn't know, however, is that much like Mexicans, Indian families were huuuge, and like, ninety people came. They totally outnumbered the Pilgrims, but it was all good, because unlike Mexicans, the Indians made sure to bring food and to share.
But no one was really giving thanks to each other, or thinking about things they were thankful for. They mostly were just thanking God (translation: looking for an excuse to party hard), and going through the sale papers to see what kind of Christmas shopping they could get done the next day.
And everyone lived happily ever after, as well as positively and accurately portrayed in the history books.
The End
One of the original decorations that the Pilgrims used at the first Thanksgiving. Available at your local Wal-Mart
So eventually, white people came over to America and pretty much started to have their way with it. The pilgrims came over on the Mayflower in 1620, and they were all "Holy shit, our harvests are going to be mad bountiful, yo. Jesus is the MAN! He totally wants us here, because like...England is fucking awesome and shit."
Apparently, since the pilgrims didn't have any sort of AccuWeather forecast or Doppler radar, they weren't quite prepared for the weather. The biggest mistake they made would probably be arriving in the Winter. That's kind of stupid. But tickets were cheaper, since it was an off-peak travel time. Things weren't good, and a bunch of them started dying of pneumonia and consumption. Consumption was actually what they called tuberculosis. With a name like that, you'd think it wasn't all that bad. Especially since it's a story about Thanksgiving, consumption sounds nice. But actually it was their body being "consumed" by disease, not their delicious turkey and cornbread stuffing being "consumed" by hungry pilgrims.
Anyway...there were only like 100 pilgrims that came on the Mayflower to begin with. And it was no Carnival Cruise. The people were dropping like flies. At one point, less than ten of them were even well enough to go get food and water and stuff. Eventually a tribe of Natives felt sorry for the poor bastards and decided to help. One dude, named Squanto, stayed and lived with the pilgrims and gave them animal skins and taught them how to get vegetables and basically how to survive, since the pilgrims clearly had no fucking idea what they were doing. England certainly hadn't sent their finest. Which makes sense...I mean...why risk the good ones?
Pilgrims started surviving, and due to what I can only imagine was an insatiable sexual appetite, they even started to reproduce a little. Their harvest that year was apparently really good, although compared to eating dirt and grass, anything would seem super. The survivors decided to have a little "Thank God we're not dead like those other suckers" feast, to give thanks and praise to God and stuff. Since Squanto had been so cool, they decided to invite a few Indians and their families. What they didn't know, however, is that much like Mexicans, Indian families were huuuge, and like, ninety people came. They totally outnumbered the Pilgrims, but it was all good, because unlike Mexicans, the Indians made sure to bring food and to share.
But no one was really giving thanks to each other, or thinking about things they were thankful for. They mostly were just thanking God (translation: looking for an excuse to party hard), and going through the sale papers to see what kind of Christmas shopping they could get done the next day.
And everyone lived happily ever after, as well as positively and accurately portrayed in the history books.
The End
One of the original decorations that the Pilgrims used at the first Thanksgiving. Available at your local Wal-Mart
Saturday, November 18, 2006
thanksgiving issue
Remember in elementary school when you would make a little construction paper cornucopia and you were supposed to take it home and have every member of your family write down something they were thankful for then put it inside the cornucopia to read at Thanksgiving dinner? Only you instead took the brown paper funnel home and shoved it under your bed, only to discover it several months later when you are forced to clean your room because it was so messy that your dad took your video games away?
I love Thanksgiving. I have several good memories of it. Like the time I told my mom her turkey tasted just like lunch meat (I meant it as a compliment. I was like six).
I sill sit at the kids table. Only, none of us are kids anymore, so it's technically just a smaller table. We still call it the "kids table." My Aunt Audrey sits there too.
This is what I'm presently thankful for:
Supportive family and friends.
Going to LA in the Spring.
The fact that I now consider four miles a "short" run.
The people that came to my benefit, have donated to my cause, or plan to donate.
Classes being almost over.
My improv class.
For Your Consideration
My Name is Earl, The Office, Scrubs, and 30 Rock all on the same night.
Going home for six days and having no stress and nothing to worry about (aside from training and still having to raise $1700, of course)
I love Thanksgiving. I have several good memories of it. Like the time I told my mom her turkey tasted just like lunch meat (I meant it as a compliment. I was like six).
I sill sit at the kids table. Only, none of us are kids anymore, so it's technically just a smaller table. We still call it the "kids table." My Aunt Audrey sits there too.
This is what I'm presently thankful for:
Supportive family and friends.
Going to LA in the Spring.
The fact that I now consider four miles a "short" run.
The people that came to my benefit, have donated to my cause, or plan to donate.
Classes being almost over.
My improv class.
For Your Consideration
My Name is Earl, The Office, Scrubs, and 30 Rock all on the same night.
Going home for six days and having no stress and nothing to worry about (aside from training and still having to raise $1700, of course)
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Pressure
My mom sent me a Halloween care package (more like "SCARE PACKAGE!!! bwa hahahaha!).
It has the requisite chocolates and other sorts of snacks that are bad for you, including marshmallow peeps, which I adore. Also, she made me Halloween cookies! Pumpkins and ghosts! Despite the fact that the pumpkins are heart-shaped with orange frosting, and the ghosts were clearly made with a gingerbread man cookie-cutter, I appreciate the effort, as well as the spike in my sugar intake.
I posted a listing on craigslist saying that I am looking for a place sublet while in LA. I got one back already from a guy who has a second bedroom in his apartment available. He said he was an actor and apparently lives close to Studio City. My intentions had been to find a sublet for a one-bedroom or a studio, in which I would not be staying with another person who is a complete stranger. However, this guy, this actor guy, left me his name, and so I decided to IMDB it. Turns out that he's had walk-on roles on several shows, like House and Charmed. Also, his brother is a casting assistant for Bones. Originally I was concerned that this person was going to be psychotic or a stalker, but I'm the one looking him up online. What a strange role reversal.
I've got a paper due tonight, and then the first act of my pilot is due Thursday. Normally, my Thursday nights consist of me relaxing and being glad that my workload is done for the week, however Thursday is the benefit, so it looks like I don't have that luxury this time around. Oh well, I guess going home next Tuesday for six days of relaxing and drinking with old friends will make up for that. I'm trying not to think about the benefit at this time. Thinking about it only seems to open the already wavering flood gates of worry. Will it go well? Will a lot of people come? And most importantly, will I raise a lot of money? It's really starting to come down to the wire with the fundraising, and that is what's freaking my out the most. Like...it's freaking me out a LOT. I can't think about it right now. I've got a paper on gentrification to write.
It has the requisite chocolates and other sorts of snacks that are bad for you, including marshmallow peeps, which I adore. Also, she made me Halloween cookies! Pumpkins and ghosts! Despite the fact that the pumpkins are heart-shaped with orange frosting, and the ghosts were clearly made with a gingerbread man cookie-cutter, I appreciate the effort, as well as the spike in my sugar intake.
I posted a listing on craigslist saying that I am looking for a place sublet while in LA. I got one back already from a guy who has a second bedroom in his apartment available. He said he was an actor and apparently lives close to Studio City. My intentions had been to find a sublet for a one-bedroom or a studio, in which I would not be staying with another person who is a complete stranger. However, this guy, this actor guy, left me his name, and so I decided to IMDB it. Turns out that he's had walk-on roles on several shows, like House and Charmed. Also, his brother is a casting assistant for Bones. Originally I was concerned that this person was going to be psychotic or a stalker, but I'm the one looking him up online. What a strange role reversal.
I've got a paper due tonight, and then the first act of my pilot is due Thursday. Normally, my Thursday nights consist of me relaxing and being glad that my workload is done for the week, however Thursday is the benefit, so it looks like I don't have that luxury this time around. Oh well, I guess going home next Tuesday for six days of relaxing and drinking with old friends will make up for that. I'm trying not to think about the benefit at this time. Thinking about it only seems to open the already wavering flood gates of worry. Will it go well? Will a lot of people come? And most importantly, will I raise a lot of money? It's really starting to come down to the wire with the fundraising, and that is what's freaking my out the most. Like...it's freaking me out a LOT. I can't think about it right now. I've got a paper on gentrification to write.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Its 5pm
And I've started drinking. Hell. I deserve it. My weekends are borderline non-existent at this point. Not going out Thursday is tolerable, but having to stay in on Fridays to get up and run the next day is another issue entirely. So it's five o'clock, I ran eight miles, and I'm ready to drink. I mean, sure, I'm in the process of cleaning my room, doing laundry, and perhaps working on my script for Writing the Sitcom, but I can do that while drinking. A mature adult can handle drinking while accomplishing other tasks in their daily life. Or maybe that's not a mature adult, maybe that's a good alcoholic. But still, I'd rather be a good alcoholic than a bad one.
I think there are three main rules to abide by in order to not become an alcoholic. No drinking on weeknights (Thursday not withstanding), not drinking before 7pm, and not drinking alone. I suppose that I am guilty of two of those right now, but the fact that I ran eight miles as part of my goal to run a half marathon and raise $3,900 for Leukemia is sure to grant me some sort of alcoholic amnesty.
I think there are three main rules to abide by in order to not become an alcoholic. No drinking on weeknights (Thursday not withstanding), not drinking before 7pm, and not drinking alone. I suppose that I am guilty of two of those right now, but the fact that I ran eight miles as part of my goal to run a half marathon and raise $3,900 for Leukemia is sure to grant me some sort of alcoholic amnesty.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
I Love LA
I was about a half hour late for Urban Geography yesterday. I was walking Shilo and on our way back inside, she randomly sat down in the grass. So I sat down with her. It was a beautiful Fall day and I had absolutely no motivation to get to class on time. I just wanted to lay there and stare at the sky all day. I didn't though. Even when doing such things as letting my mind wander, I get too restless. So I brushed the leaves off my bottom and went to class.
I just signed up for my Spring Semester classes.
Writer's Roundtable in LA
Pitching Series Concept in LA
Analyzing Sitcom Structure in LA
Conceiving and Writing the Sitcom Show Bible in LA
In case you still haven't caught on...I decided to do the Comedy program in the Spring. Sure, it'll be inconvenient on many, many levels. I still have to pay rent in Chicago. I have to come back for classes in the summer. I can't take an improv class right away next semester. I can't go to New Orleans with ReachOut. However, this program is a chance for me to see what it's like to do EXACTLY what I want to do as a career, so I can't sacrifice that.
I talked to my parents about it. They're cool.
I'll be there from Feburary 15th-March 30th. Then, it's back to Chicago for Summer classes. However, if something amazing came up and it was between a great opportunity in LA or back to Chicago to finish up three summer classes, there's a very real possibility that I would put college on hold.
I just signed up for my Spring Semester classes.
Writer's Roundtable in LA
Pitching Series Concept in LA
Analyzing Sitcom Structure in LA
Conceiving and Writing the Sitcom Show Bible in LA
In case you still haven't caught on...I decided to do the Comedy program in the Spring. Sure, it'll be inconvenient on many, many levels. I still have to pay rent in Chicago. I have to come back for classes in the summer. I can't take an improv class right away next semester. I can't go to New Orleans with ReachOut. However, this program is a chance for me to see what it's like to do EXACTLY what I want to do as a career, so I can't sacrifice that.
I talked to my parents about it. They're cool.
I'll be there from Feburary 15th-March 30th. Then, it's back to Chicago for Summer classes. However, if something amazing came up and it was between a great opportunity in LA or back to Chicago to finish up three summer classes, there's a very real possibility that I would put college on hold.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Commerce
So we're halfway through the semester, and I just discovered that my roommate is taking the same class as me. He has it Wednesday mornings, and I have it Wednesday afternoons, 40 minutes after him. Just goes to show how much communication means to me.
Semester in LA....Spring or Summer? Spring or Summer? Comedy or Drama? I can't freaking decide. They both have so many pros and cons, which I continue to recite inside my head ad nauseam, that I don't know how I'll ever decide. I do know that getting advice from people is absolutely useless. Whatever a person says, I disagree with. If they say do Spring, I decide I want to do summer. If they say Summer, then it's vice versa. And if they don't give me a straight answer and say that either way is fine, I snap at them for pointing out the obvious. So...basically, please don't post a comment trying to give me advice. I am not in a place right now where I can handle advice.
What am I doing writing a blog right now? I have to finish my commerce paper. I have to revise and print my spec for It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (which was just renewed for a third season! 15 episodes next summer! Now my spec isn't worthless!) plus I have to do more work on characters for Leper High. I was tempted to post part of my Leper High script, but I decided against in on the grounds that it would be considered too self-indulgent. If you're interested, let me know and I'll do it.
Semester in LA....Spring or Summer? Spring or Summer? Comedy or Drama? I can't freaking decide. They both have so many pros and cons, which I continue to recite inside my head ad nauseam, that I don't know how I'll ever decide. I do know that getting advice from people is absolutely useless. Whatever a person says, I disagree with. If they say do Spring, I decide I want to do summer. If they say Summer, then it's vice versa. And if they don't give me a straight answer and say that either way is fine, I snap at them for pointing out the obvious. So...basically, please don't post a comment trying to give me advice. I am not in a place right now where I can handle advice.
What am I doing writing a blog right now? I have to finish my commerce paper. I have to revise and print my spec for It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (which was just renewed for a third season! 15 episodes next summer! Now my spec isn't worthless!) plus I have to do more work on characters for Leper High. I was tempted to post part of my Leper High script, but I decided against in on the grounds that it would be considered too self-indulgent. If you're interested, let me know and I'll do it.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Chapter 10: Killing Time at the LCP: The Month Before The Mouse
I left Kalamazoo. My roommates were doing a bang-up job of giving me reasons for justifiable homicide, and getting the hell out of that house was the best thing I could do in order to ensure everyone's safety. I can't imagine what life would have been like if I stayed in Kalamazoo. Where would I be right now? Probably living back at home with my parents, still in debt from being convicted of criminal negligence because I accidentally burnt the house down when I made a grilled cheese drunk at 3 in the afternoon on a Wednesday. I hated my house, hated school, and hated myself. I had some good friends though. Friends that I really miss today. But I needed to escape. So I came across a flyer for the Walt Disney World College Program and a few months later, I moved to Orlando, Florida. However, I'm getting ahead of myself. This isn't about Disney. This is about the month in between Kalamazoo and Orlando.
This is a hard chapter to write. Not because I went through some sort of emotional difficulty or any type of hard time. I was not battling clinical depression and I did not have an eating disorder. Life was fine. I was a little nervous, what with the moving away all by myself coming up, but that's not why this is a hard chapter to write. The reason this isn't easy is simple:
I worked at a pizza place for a month over Christmas break.
There. Basically I just gave you all there is to know about my time at Little Caesar's Pizza. How do I create a whole chapter of it? I'll try my best to put a spin on it. Perhaps I'll make my boss a cross dresser in a wheelchair. And instead of a pizza place, it's a brothel. There! Now things are really coming along. It's a well-known rule of writing that you should never tell your audience how boring the subject matter ahead is going to be. That's just telling them to stop reading. You've probably already quit. Or you're close to it. Or you've decided to start cooking while continuing with this chapter, because you've got a lot to do today and don't have time to just sit and read.
Well, now that I've spent a good amount of paragraphs talking about things of absolutely no relevance, I guess we can begin.
I was leaving for Disney on January 28th, 2004. But I came home from WMU at the beginning of December. I felt the need to get a job at this point, to keep myself from going crazy. What would I do all day for two months besides obsess over whether or not I made the right decision, make lengthy lists of things to take to Florida that I didn't actually need, and talk to my friends back at WMU as they poured on the guilt of which I'm highly susceptible as it is. So, I set out to find a job. By pooling my various resources, I happened upon one rather quickly. Brynne, the same Brynne from Twist & Shout, happened to be working at Little Caesar's and said she could probably get me a job. Now, had we told the managers right away that I would only be working there for about a month, I doubt I would have gotten the job. But by saying that I had left school for an internship but was staying home instead not only provided a great excuse for why I left college, but also opened the door for when I did quit to go to Disney. That was Brynne's genius right there. I take no credit.
I started on Christmas Eve. That was no problem. I think I've worked on Christmas Eve almost every year since I was fourteen. Twist and Shout, Best Buy, and PacSun all had me working on Christmas Eve. It's really not that bad. My family doesn't come over until around 5:00 anyway, and most places close early on Christmas Eve, so I would be back in time regardless. Working on New Year's Eve was a little bit harder. Not only because I received drunken phone calls every fifteen minutes from one of my friends asking why I didn't go back to Kalamazoo that night, but also because the guy I was working with was socially awkward and just plain weird. It was not a night to remember.
Work was easy. Make pizza. Sell pizza. Make more pizza. Sell it. Make one to eat. Eat it. The best part of the day was when we would lay pizza boxes on the ground (because the ground was nasty) and sleep on them. The worst part was when I had to be there at 7am to make like 100 pizzas which had to be taken to the local elementary schools. You know how on pizza day every slice always had three pepperonis on it? That was no happy accident. Three very tired, possibly hungover, and extremely lazy underachievers had to get up when it was still dark out just to do that.
So time stood still for about a month while I worked at Little Caesar's. Aside from work, life wasn't bad. We took a lot of trips to Canada and drank a lot. That always passes the time. A little less than a week before I moved to Florida, I finally told the boss I was quitting. Well, I left him a note. I never liked confrontation when it comes to quitting jobs. But I did do the very responsible thing of coming in after he left the next day to ask Brynne if he read it. See? It's important to be mature when working in a professional atmosphere.
And that was Little Caesar's.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Ow!
So I was running today. Eight miles, actually. I remember when I first started training, and running four miles was intimidating enough as it is. Now I'm on eight? Since when was I the kind of person who can run even SIX miles and not think anything of it?
Anyway, I got hit by a golf ball. I was up around Irving Park on the Lake Shore running path, which is right by a golf course. Out of nowhere, a golf ball comes flying at me and hits me in the thumb and chest. My thumb still hurts pretty bad, and my chest had a bruise. I looked around to see where it came from. Being consistently picked on and made fun of when I was younger, my first reaction whenever anything like this happens (not that I get pelted with golf balls a great deal, but any sort of anonymous harm) is that somebody did it on purpose. Don't ask me why. It's not because I'm conceited and think the world revolves around me. More or less, I think that somebody better than me is somehow out to get me. Don't ask me why. Self-esteem issues, I suppose. Anyway, that sort of feeling is always fleeting, and this case was no exception. I looked over to the golf course and saw the culprit, waving his hand apologetically. Well, not even apologetically, it looked more like he was waving to say "Hello!" but "apologetically" is not only a big word, but gives a sense of payoff to the story.
I kept the golf ball. I have no idea why. I ran up to Wilson and on my way back I knew that this was the spot where I got hit. So I looked for it and sure enough, found that sucker in the grass. It's a Nike one too. Probably made by kids in a sweatshop. The bastard endorses sweatshops AND he unapologetic ally aims to pelt innocent passers-by with golf balls!
I decided I was going to take the ball to Florida. I mean, it's kind of funny. I'm training for this run and out of nowhere I get beamed with a golf ball. Watching it from an outside perspective (or, apparently, even from the perspective of the guy who hit me) had to be pretty funny. Not really America's Home Videos funny, since the ball didn't hit me in the groin. But funny nonetheless.
There was really no rhyme or reason (I don't understand this phrase. What kind of "rhyme" would there be?) to why I kept it and decided to take it with me to Disney World. I just wanted to. Or wait...maybe there is a reason...
A mu'fuckin' golf ball. I worked under that thing for 8 months, you know. Most boring ride in the history of the world. More boring than waiting in line to pay for a toll road.
Anyway, I got hit by a golf ball. I was up around Irving Park on the Lake Shore running path, which is right by a golf course. Out of nowhere, a golf ball comes flying at me and hits me in the thumb and chest. My thumb still hurts pretty bad, and my chest had a bruise. I looked around to see where it came from. Being consistently picked on and made fun of when I was younger, my first reaction whenever anything like this happens (not that I get pelted with golf balls a great deal, but any sort of anonymous harm) is that somebody did it on purpose. Don't ask me why. It's not because I'm conceited and think the world revolves around me. More or less, I think that somebody better than me is somehow out to get me. Don't ask me why. Self-esteem issues, I suppose. Anyway, that sort of feeling is always fleeting, and this case was no exception. I looked over to the golf course and saw the culprit, waving his hand apologetically. Well, not even apologetically, it looked more like he was waving to say "Hello!" but "apologetically" is not only a big word, but gives a sense of payoff to the story.
I kept the golf ball. I have no idea why. I ran up to Wilson and on my way back I knew that this was the spot where I got hit. So I looked for it and sure enough, found that sucker in the grass. It's a Nike one too. Probably made by kids in a sweatshop. The bastard endorses sweatshops AND he unapologetic ally aims to pelt innocent passers-by with golf balls!
I decided I was going to take the ball to Florida. I mean, it's kind of funny. I'm training for this run and out of nowhere I get beamed with a golf ball. Watching it from an outside perspective (or, apparently, even from the perspective of the guy who hit me) had to be pretty funny. Not really America's Home Videos funny, since the ball didn't hit me in the groin. But funny nonetheless.
There was really no rhyme or reason (I don't understand this phrase. What kind of "rhyme" would there be?) to why I kept it and decided to take it with me to Disney World. I just wanted to. Or wait...maybe there is a reason...
A mu'fuckin' golf ball. I worked under that thing for 8 months, you know. Most boring ride in the history of the world. More boring than waiting in line to pay for a toll road.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Someone Crazy Is Coming In Today
I'm at work awaiting a confrontation with a crazy person.
I haven't eaten all day today. My stomach grumbled for fifteen seconds straight. I counted it. I need to grocery shop. Tonight, maybe.
My TV Program Development teacher loves Leper High. The whole class does.
My Writing The Sitcom teacher hates it. I wanted to kill two birds with one stone and use that same show idea for both classes, guess I can't do that. I have a good one for Writing the Sitcom though, so it's cool.
Jenny is right. Breakfast is very important, and I need to stock up on more oatmeal and yogurt, cause that's what gets me up in the morning. I'm not a morning person at all, but I need something in my tum-tum. Even if it's just a yoplait.
It's weird that I'm still going to be at Columbia next semester, and next summer even, but I'm not signing up for Spring classes. I really really want to, because I love doing it, but it seems likely I'll be doing Semester in LA, so no Oasis for me. It's okay though, by the time Spring Orientation is over I'll be so sick of making people's schedules anyway.
I need to make sure I can still walk even if I need to take three summer classes. I know at WMU you can. I'll be damned if I miss out on graduating at Navy Pier. Especially since it's the one and only year that this will happen.
I am STARVING.
I haven't eaten all day today. My stomach grumbled for fifteen seconds straight. I counted it. I need to grocery shop. Tonight, maybe.
My TV Program Development teacher loves Leper High. The whole class does.
My Writing The Sitcom teacher hates it. I wanted to kill two birds with one stone and use that same show idea for both classes, guess I can't do that. I have a good one for Writing the Sitcom though, so it's cool.
Jenny is right. Breakfast is very important, and I need to stock up on more oatmeal and yogurt, cause that's what gets me up in the morning. I'm not a morning person at all, but I need something in my tum-tum. Even if it's just a yoplait.
It's weird that I'm still going to be at Columbia next semester, and next summer even, but I'm not signing up for Spring classes. I really really want to, because I love doing it, but it seems likely I'll be doing Semester in LA, so no Oasis for me. It's okay though, by the time Spring Orientation is over I'll be so sick of making people's schedules anyway.
I need to make sure I can still walk even if I need to take three summer classes. I know at WMU you can. I'll be damned if I miss out on graduating at Navy Pier. Especially since it's the one and only year that this will happen.
I am STARVING.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
This is Halloween
I think this picture really sums up my Saturday night. It was Cam's party. The whole gang went, which was nice because I haven't really had a chance to party with everyone in such a long time, so this was very much needed. The party itself...well I don't think it was very exciting or eventful...but I definitely had consumed enough alcohol that even standing in line at the DMV would have felt like the Thanksgiving Parade, so I was in good spirits. Around 1am or so, things really got crazy. By the time we left the party at 2, Maggie and I were pretty much unleashed on the town, and boy was it a shit show.
Highlights-
-Jess Dangles spanking me with her whip and yelling "This is what slavery is like!"
-Maggie doing yoga in the middle of a party
-Elroy humping Wenda
-Going up to every single person I encountered that night and saying "I didn't know you were coming tonight!" over and over and over.
-Stealing a pumpkin decoration from Clark's
-Kicking a hole in someone's iPod costume
-Finding a Spiderman mask and telling Maggie to put it on. She did.
-This:
I REFUSED to get off of that tire until somebody took my picture. Luckily Kate jumped up and joined me, otherwise this moment would have been long forgotten.
-Stepping on a girls foot and getting punched
-Getting inexplicably mad at someone dressed as the game Twister and telling everyone at the burrito place how much they sucked
-Trying to piss off every stranger I met
-Giving the Mexican guy at the burrito place 20 dollars for change and him walking away, then coming back acting like I never gave him a 20.
-Shielding Maggie while she pee'd in a doorway right on the corner of Halsted and Belmont
-The plethora of stupid things we did but I will never remember.
Ohhh I love Halloween. I wanted to dress up again tonight but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen. I'll probably head over to the Diversey house and watch a scary movie with everyone. What a good way to spend Halloween, though.
This week is busier than usual because I have to plan and host an Open Forum for the television department. Basically I need to reserve a room, order food, and get people to come, so it's not exactly planning Princess Diana's wedding, but it's still an unwelcome addition to the already large list of things to do.
For Writing the Sitcom I have to come up with two show ideas. I had a GREAT idea for a show about this guy who is basically fate's bitch. He receives assignments that cause him to change the course of other people's lives in big ways. Make people fall in love, get rich, die, etc. Well, I thought it was a great idea. And so did the creators of "Wonderfalls," a show on Fox about the EXACT. SAME. THING. The show was critically acclaimed though, so at least I'm sniffing up the right tree.
Now it's time to get some reading done for Urban Geography so I'm not completely overwhelmed at 11 pm after the movie when I still have a ton of homework to do.
And that's that.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
His Boy Elroy
7 out of 10 people on average seem to be able to figure out I'm Elroy Jetson. The other 3 always think I'm a train conductor, and offer an enthusiastic "Choo Choo!"
I'm not a train conductor...but maybe next year. It would be nice to get more use out of these overalls...actually no, it wouldn't. They are way too snug for my own liking. So scratch that. I'm loving being Elroy though. Check out the hat. See the antenna? ELROY!
I'm getting sick again. Not that I've been sick before, but I've been "getting sick" before. I seem to take care of myself well enough to the point where I am almost constantly at a state of almost-sickness, but never actually sick. I didn't get up early to run this morning, which pisses me off because that is why I went to bed early last night and didn't stay at Jacob's Halloween party, but I still plan on running today. In a little bit, after I finish cleaning my room and make some pasta. I'm drinking Airborne water right now, so that should take about six hours for me to finish choking down, then it's go time.
I'm going to LA next semester instead of in the summer. I think. I'm crossing my fingers that I get into the program. I met the guy who teaches the classes out there, and a few of us even got to go to dinner with him, and he made it sound like anyone who applies and wants to go generally gets to go. Here's hoping...
My plan had always been finish up at Columbia in the Spring Semester, then do Semester in LA in the summer for Writing the One-Hour Drama. That way, I'm done with school and I don't have to come back for school and if any good opportunities arise, I can nab them without worrying about coming back to finishing school.
The problem arose when I realized that I am a comedy person. Sure, Off The Clock is written as a one-hour drama, but it's still more a comedy than anything else. And I need to continue this. I love one-hours, I really do. A lot. I'm obsessed with so many of them. But what I'm good at writing is funny. And the best part is, our classes are on the CBS lot, which industry people call "Sitcom University." How can I pass that up? But the comedy program is in the spring. So...my new plan is Semester in LA in the Spring (it's basically just the month of March, so it's not a huge deal) then come back for Summer classes, then probably go back to LA and find something through the contacts and friendships I've built through the spring program. My biggest issue is still that I have to leave LA. What if I get an awesome job offer? Or a paid internship? Then what? Well that's a road I'll cross when I get there. Many people, even the chair of the TV Department, said to do the comedy program and come back to finish school. So the bad news is you'll have no Steve for all of March. The good news is you'll have me all summer long!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Two Years Running
For the second year in a row, I got a "Who's Who in American Colleges" award. Which is kind of strange, but I suppose I do kind of do a lot more on campus than most people. It doesn't really mean all that much. I get a certificate, which I give to my mom, and my name gets put in an overpriced book that nobody buys except for insane parents of other students whose names are mentioned. The only real benefit, aside from picking up girls at parties, will be to put it on my resume.
I hate cheesy transitions. So instead of starting paragraph number two with "Speaking of resumes..." I'm going get right to it. I actually will be updating my resume soon, because I'm going to apply for an internship at CEO Exchange, a show that's filmed in Chicago at WTTW. I need four more credit hours of TV classes and a think an internship would really be the best way to go with that, so I can get some more real life experience. Also, I'd be working right by Maggie, which would be all sorts of counterproductive.
I've kind of gotten used to the whole concept of being busy, and so I have no intentions of taking it easy next semester. Sure, things will be a little lighter. I won't be walking the dog anymore, which means I won't feel rushed every afternoon as I try to get to Streeterville and back in less than an hour. And I'll have finished the half marathon, so I will actually be able to go out two nights out of the week instead of one. Oh, I'll still be a runner though. But getting up at 7am to run 8 miles on a Saturday morning? Check the box that says "things I can live without."
I'll be a part time student, somewhat. With the internship I'd still be considered full-time, with 12 credit hours, but only three classes. One acting class and two gen eds. I can take any gen ed whatsoever. Anyone wanna take a class with me? Something fun, though, My days of Descartes and inorganic compouds are over. I'm talking History of Chicago or Candy Tasting Seminar. Then of course there's work. I'll continue at Student Affairs, because it's just so convenient, and something like 20 hours a week is actually just the right amount of money to keep from going broke but not terribly stressful. In fact I've actually saved a little bit of money.
So that's not exactly a cake walk, but it's a step down from where I'm at now. Cake walk? What's that supposed to mean, anyway? Not stressful? Untrue. Cake walks can be extremely stressful. It's like musical chairs, but there's even more at stake. And when you win, you have to carry a cake around all night, and that pretty much puts a damper on any plans you may have had, especially if you wated to go out after.
Today in Improv, the musical director from Second City came and we did improv singing. Kind of like the games they play on "Who's Line Is It Anyway." We would start a short little improv scene and as soon as the teacher started playing the piano, whatever you were talking about, you had to burst out into song. It was actually a lot of fun, despite the fact that I don't sing. I've really come to realize how much I love improv. I definitely want to continue studying it. Next semester I'd like to take another class, maybe at Second City even. I think it's one of the few things in the world that I'm actually capable of, and with some formal training, who knows.
Okay I really need to get started on homework.
I hate cheesy transitions. So instead of starting paragraph number two with "Speaking of resumes..." I'm going get right to it. I actually will be updating my resume soon, because I'm going to apply for an internship at CEO Exchange, a show that's filmed in Chicago at WTTW. I need four more credit hours of TV classes and a think an internship would really be the best way to go with that, so I can get some more real life experience. Also, I'd be working right by Maggie, which would be all sorts of counterproductive.
I've kind of gotten used to the whole concept of being busy, and so I have no intentions of taking it easy next semester. Sure, things will be a little lighter. I won't be walking the dog anymore, which means I won't feel rushed every afternoon as I try to get to Streeterville and back in less than an hour. And I'll have finished the half marathon, so I will actually be able to go out two nights out of the week instead of one. Oh, I'll still be a runner though. But getting up at 7am to run 8 miles on a Saturday morning? Check the box that says "things I can live without."
I'll be a part time student, somewhat. With the internship I'd still be considered full-time, with 12 credit hours, but only three classes. One acting class and two gen eds. I can take any gen ed whatsoever. Anyone wanna take a class with me? Something fun, though, My days of Descartes and inorganic compouds are over. I'm talking History of Chicago or Candy Tasting Seminar. Then of course there's work. I'll continue at Student Affairs, because it's just so convenient, and something like 20 hours a week is actually just the right amount of money to keep from going broke but not terribly stressful. In fact I've actually saved a little bit of money.
So that's not exactly a cake walk, but it's a step down from where I'm at now. Cake walk? What's that supposed to mean, anyway? Not stressful? Untrue. Cake walks can be extremely stressful. It's like musical chairs, but there's even more at stake. And when you win, you have to carry a cake around all night, and that pretty much puts a damper on any plans you may have had, especially if you wated to go out after.
Today in Improv, the musical director from Second City came and we did improv singing. Kind of like the games they play on "Who's Line Is It Anyway." We would start a short little improv scene and as soon as the teacher started playing the piano, whatever you were talking about, you had to burst out into song. It was actually a lot of fun, despite the fact that I don't sing. I've really come to realize how much I love improv. I definitely want to continue studying it. Next semester I'd like to take another class, maybe at Second City even. I think it's one of the few things in the world that I'm actually capable of, and with some formal training, who knows.
Okay I really need to get started on homework.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Oh Blogger, I just wanna stickwhitchu
I thought about going over to myspace and do my blogging from there. That way all my myspace friends can easily read what I have to say, and what not. But I changed my mind. Unless you have sever artheritis of the finger, or that weird disease that the kid on Nip/Tuck has, then clicking over to Blogger shouldn't be too arduent of a task.
I want to apologize to Dani. I said I'd have Chapter 10 done by the end of the week. Not only is that going to be delayed indefinitely, but I can't even provide an estimated date to expect that. This must be how JK Rowling feels when she's writing Harry Potter.
So...Chapter 10 is being written. It's just a hard one to write. Because I was only there for a month. And there was nothing interesting about it. In fact, I'd use the term "nothing to write home about," but there's too much irony in that.
I went grocery shopping today and realized how healthy I eat now. Well maybe not exactly healthy, but I don't eat junk. I get Wheat Thins instead of chips, yogurt instead of cookies, and it never even crosses my mind to get pop. And I always make sure to buy at least two kinds of fruit and two kinds of vegetables. Today I got a pomegranete which I had to google how to eat because every time I've tried I make a huge mess. My only weakness when it comes to food I don't need is chips and salsa. I love my chips and salsa and that's not going to change. Ever.
The fundraising is going well. I'm at $1,400, but that's still not halfway. We do, however, have a date and time for the benefit. It's November 16th at Pint from 8-11. I'm really excited for this. Even if I don't make that much money, it's cool to be able to say I co-hosted a benefit for Leukemia, and would probably look good on a resmue if I was ever going to get a real-person job. But since I'm not, it will go forever overlooked.
Oh, and I finally got my final project online. So, that's cool. I'd like you all to take a moment and watch.
Did you like it? It's super grainy because it's compressed for a smaller screen, but I'm not about to do anything to change that. I'm really more into the writing aspect of television, so it's doubtful I'd ever go back and make something like this again, but I had a lot of fun editing and putting it together. And even if I try to get a job as a writer, I feel like this is a good depiction of my sense of humor and style of storytelling. And it's on my iPod so I can take it and show important people everywhere I go.
The gay couple two doors down from us are really into pumpkin carving. Every day they add another jack-o-lantern to their front porch. As of now there's about five, plus a pile of seven or eight uncarved pumpkins that will no doubt become happy glowing orange faces in the near future. Speaking of Halloween, I need to get started on my costume. As a matter of fact, I'm going to be going to Ragstock in a few minutes to try to get some green overalls.
I'll also need a green hat and something for the collar.
I want to apologize to Dani. I said I'd have Chapter 10 done by the end of the week. Not only is that going to be delayed indefinitely, but I can't even provide an estimated date to expect that. This must be how JK Rowling feels when she's writing Harry Potter.
So...Chapter 10 is being written. It's just a hard one to write. Because I was only there for a month. And there was nothing interesting about it. In fact, I'd use the term "nothing to write home about," but there's too much irony in that.
I went grocery shopping today and realized how healthy I eat now. Well maybe not exactly healthy, but I don't eat junk. I get Wheat Thins instead of chips, yogurt instead of cookies, and it never even crosses my mind to get pop. And I always make sure to buy at least two kinds of fruit and two kinds of vegetables. Today I got a pomegranete which I had to google how to eat because every time I've tried I make a huge mess. My only weakness when it comes to food I don't need is chips and salsa. I love my chips and salsa and that's not going to change. Ever.
The fundraising is going well. I'm at $1,400, but that's still not halfway. We do, however, have a date and time for the benefit. It's November 16th at Pint from 8-11. I'm really excited for this. Even if I don't make that much money, it's cool to be able to say I co-hosted a benefit for Leukemia, and would probably look good on a resmue if I was ever going to get a real-person job. But since I'm not, it will go forever overlooked.
Oh, and I finally got my final project online. So, that's cool. I'd like you all to take a moment and watch.
Did you like it? It's super grainy because it's compressed for a smaller screen, but I'm not about to do anything to change that. I'm really more into the writing aspect of television, so it's doubtful I'd ever go back and make something like this again, but I had a lot of fun editing and putting it together. And even if I try to get a job as a writer, I feel like this is a good depiction of my sense of humor and style of storytelling. And it's on my iPod so I can take it and show important people everywhere I go.
The gay couple two doors down from us are really into pumpkin carving. Every day they add another jack-o-lantern to their front porch. As of now there's about five, plus a pile of seven or eight uncarved pumpkins that will no doubt become happy glowing orange faces in the near future. Speaking of Halloween, I need to get started on my costume. As a matter of fact, I'm going to be going to Ragstock in a few minutes to try to get some green overalls.
I'll also need a green hat and something for the collar.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Somethign Suri-ous
I wrote an entry about this documentary we watched in Urban Geography called "The Corporation," and how disturbing it was, and how unsettled it made me feel. I also talked about growing up and how hard it can be when you realize all of your old friends are moving away and you'll never see them again.
But then I did something. Something bold. Something new. No, I didn't buy Tivo. Something bigger! I put myself into the shoes of the reader. Sure, I can sit and type till the cows come home about how so and so is moving to this or that city. Oh, how the words to flow when I talk about this movie and how it made me feel. Hell, I can easily create a streamline directly from my consciousness to the keyboard. But see, that often makes things boring as shit. I don't write this to wax philosophical (I've always wanted to use the term "wax philosopihcal") or to open up about things like my feelings and inner thoughts. That's gay (derogatory! language of oppression! Sensitivity training!). I write this to be funny. So, it's about time we got back to basics.
But you should see "The Corporation." Serious.
I've been thinking about Baby Suri today. I don't know why. Most likely because I was playing Text Twist and "suri" was not counted as a word. I knew it wouldn't but I had to try anyway. I mean, if "tat" counts as a word, you never know. Anyway, back to the issue at hand. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, Baby Suri is Jesus? Isn't it weird that they capitalize "baby" when you say Baby Suri? Kind of like a hurricane is a hurricane, but Hurricane Katrina is a proper noun. Baby Suri ain't just any baby.
Suri was born and the country just went ape shit about it. And oh man, how badly did people want to see this child? Badly. Shit, they were like counting how many days had gone by without a picture of her being released. Didn't they call it Suri-Watch? That's crazy. I bet someone tried to issue an Amber Alert on that kid. So, this fascination, nay, OBSESSION, with Baby Suri, whose intitials are BS, an irony not lost on myself, makes me wonder. All of this hullaballoo over one baby? Maybe Baby Suri is a prophet! It's the only explanation. The world rejoices the birth and awaits to see the Christ child (in an exclusive Vanity Fair spread)! I mean, we all know God has a sense of humor (ever see a platypus?), and what is funnier than reincarnating his son as the daughter of a Hollywood star gone bananas and Joey Potter? Good one, God! Oh, and to make them SCIENTOLOGIST on top of that! Too much!
Of course, there is another possibility. Something a little less outlandish than Baby Suri being Jesus. Beware of false prophets, they say. They shall come to you in sheeps clothing. So, there's an equal chance that Suri is actually the opposite of what I just said. Suri is actually Satan. I don't know if you've read the bible or not. I haven't, but I've seen The Omen (the original one, not even the Julia Stiles one! Talk about cred!) and I consider that an equally reliable source on everything Catholic. So apparently Satan is going to come to earth and make everyone believe that he is some sort of savior and going to make our lives better. The whole sheeps clothing thing. Do you get it now? Then, once everyone in the world is convinced that this person is our savior...BAM! Eternal damnation! Baby Suri conned us all! You're probably wondering how I know so much. Well, let's just say I saw part of Left Behind II on a bus once. This theory is quite plausible. I mean, look at Suri's parents. Tom Cruise has clearly already converted to the evil side, and Katie Holmes has no soul anyway. Who else would bring the face of evil into our world? Ben and Jen? DOUBT IT!
Hey, it could happen.
But then I did something. Something bold. Something new. No, I didn't buy Tivo. Something bigger! I put myself into the shoes of the reader. Sure, I can sit and type till the cows come home about how so and so is moving to this or that city. Oh, how the words to flow when I talk about this movie and how it made me feel. Hell, I can easily create a streamline directly from my consciousness to the keyboard. But see, that often makes things boring as shit. I don't write this to wax philosophical (I've always wanted to use the term "wax philosopihcal") or to open up about things like my feelings and inner thoughts. That's gay (derogatory! language of oppression! Sensitivity training!). I write this to be funny. So, it's about time we got back to basics.
But you should see "The Corporation." Serious.
I've been thinking about Baby Suri today. I don't know why. Most likely because I was playing Text Twist and "suri" was not counted as a word. I knew it wouldn't but I had to try anyway. I mean, if "tat" counts as a word, you never know. Anyway, back to the issue at hand. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, Baby Suri is Jesus? Isn't it weird that they capitalize "baby" when you say Baby Suri? Kind of like a hurricane is a hurricane, but Hurricane Katrina is a proper noun. Baby Suri ain't just any baby.
Suri was born and the country just went ape shit about it. And oh man, how badly did people want to see this child? Badly. Shit, they were like counting how many days had gone by without a picture of her being released. Didn't they call it Suri-Watch? That's crazy. I bet someone tried to issue an Amber Alert on that kid. So, this fascination, nay, OBSESSION, with Baby Suri, whose intitials are BS, an irony not lost on myself, makes me wonder. All of this hullaballoo over one baby? Maybe Baby Suri is a prophet! It's the only explanation. The world rejoices the birth and awaits to see the Christ child (in an exclusive Vanity Fair spread)! I mean, we all know God has a sense of humor (ever see a platypus?), and what is funnier than reincarnating his son as the daughter of a Hollywood star gone bananas and Joey Potter? Good one, God! Oh, and to make them SCIENTOLOGIST on top of that! Too much!
Of course, there is another possibility. Something a little less outlandish than Baby Suri being Jesus. Beware of false prophets, they say. They shall come to you in sheeps clothing. So, there's an equal chance that Suri is actually the opposite of what I just said. Suri is actually Satan. I don't know if you've read the bible or not. I haven't, but I've seen The Omen (the original one, not even the Julia Stiles one! Talk about cred!) and I consider that an equally reliable source on everything Catholic. So apparently Satan is going to come to earth and make everyone believe that he is some sort of savior and going to make our lives better. The whole sheeps clothing thing. Do you get it now? Then, once everyone in the world is convinced that this person is our savior...BAM! Eternal damnation! Baby Suri conned us all! You're probably wondering how I know so much. Well, let's just say I saw part of Left Behind II on a bus once. This theory is quite plausible. I mean, look at Suri's parents. Tom Cruise has clearly already converted to the evil side, and Katie Holmes has no soul anyway. Who else would bring the face of evil into our world? Ben and Jen? DOUBT IT!
Hey, it could happen.
Monday, October 09, 2006
am i some sort of schemer??
I'm at about $500 for the fundraising so far. What's making me nervous is I need $1,000 in two weeks. I can't say I'm not surprised by the underwhelming (shouldn't even say "underwhelming," a better term would be "complete lack of") support from my peers. But I promised myself this wouldn't become a rant of how none of my friends are donating. Because it's not the deadline yet. There is still some time, and I do intend to crack down on the non-donors, so to complain at this point is a little premature.
I really wouldn't be upset right now if it weren't for my aunt. She apparently told my mom she thought this was a scam. A scam? A letter from The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is a scam? Oh, how did I not discover this before! Leukemia is not even a real disease! It was created by college students to scam their relatives out of money! I was so blind, but now I see! Okay, so ignoring the fact that she thinks that running a marathon for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is apparently not a legit form of charity, how about the fact that I'm her nephew???
She also asked questions such as "What if he doesn't raise enough money? What if he doesn't even run it?"
Yeah, so nice of you to cover up your own motives of being a cheap ass by questioning my abilities to raise the funds and participate in the event. Please.
Annnyway...I'm going to do it. There's nothing to stop me. And once I get all my donation letters out, host the benefit (by the way, Steph is doing an AMAZING job with that), and get all of MY FRIENDS TO DONATE (NOT SO SUBTLE INSINUATION), I should be alright.
I really wouldn't be upset right now if it weren't for my aunt. She apparently told my mom she thought this was a scam. A scam? A letter from The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is a scam? Oh, how did I not discover this before! Leukemia is not even a real disease! It was created by college students to scam their relatives out of money! I was so blind, but now I see! Okay, so ignoring the fact that she thinks that running a marathon for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is apparently not a legit form of charity, how about the fact that I'm her nephew???
She also asked questions such as "What if he doesn't raise enough money? What if he doesn't even run it?"
Yeah, so nice of you to cover up your own motives of being a cheap ass by questioning my abilities to raise the funds and participate in the event. Please.
Annnyway...I'm going to do it. There's nothing to stop me. And once I get all my donation letters out, host the benefit (by the way, Steph is doing an AMAZING job with that), and get all of MY FRIENDS TO DONATE (NOT SO SUBTLE INSINUATION), I should be alright.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
If I were in the UC right now...
I wouldn't be 3/4 done with my homework at 10:14 pm, like I am right now. I wouldn't have even started it. I'd be in Carly's apartment next door watching whatever stupid movie her and Eileen rented from the machine downstairs. We would be drinking wine and eating chips and dip. We might or might not be in our pajamas.
If I wasn't next door, I'd most likely be at a "homework party" in Baggy's room. Everyone would be there. Maybe even Jill. No one is doing homework at this party though. Ashley is pretending to. She has her computer and the Word document is open, but that's as far as she's gotten. Because she is talking to me on AIM, even though I am sitting in the same room. We're probably making fun of Matt, who is sitting right next to her on the futon. He reads our conversation and laughs at us.
Baggy is on his computer. He doesn't have any homework. It's an easy semester for him. Dave is drawing. He is up on Baggy's bed. Jenny and Christian are watching some artistic movie on Baggy and Ryan's tv. No one is really paying much attention to it because we don't get it. Dani is in the room too but she didn't bring her computer. She didn't need it. She brought magazines and scissors. I don't know if she's making a collage for class or just for fun.
I leave Baggy's and go over to Whore Island for a bit. Libby and Marc are fighting/watching TV. Steph is super busy with some work but I go in and say hello anyway. We sing a country song together and then I go in Jess's room. We sit and catch up on how our lives are. Then I steal one of Ashley's granola bars and Jess has a 100 calorie snack. We turn off the light and play with her glow in the dark retainer!
Back down to my apartment. I said I'd be right back when I left Baggy's but everyone knew I wouldn't. I end up going back up 2 hours later. But everyone left.
If I wasn't next door, I'd most likely be at a "homework party" in Baggy's room. Everyone would be there. Maybe even Jill. No one is doing homework at this party though. Ashley is pretending to. She has her computer and the Word document is open, but that's as far as she's gotten. Because she is talking to me on AIM, even though I am sitting in the same room. We're probably making fun of Matt, who is sitting right next to her on the futon. He reads our conversation and laughs at us.
Baggy is on his computer. He doesn't have any homework. It's an easy semester for him. Dave is drawing. He is up on Baggy's bed. Jenny and Christian are watching some artistic movie on Baggy and Ryan's tv. No one is really paying much attention to it because we don't get it. Dani is in the room too but she didn't bring her computer. She didn't need it. She brought magazines and scissors. I don't know if she's making a collage for class or just for fun.
I leave Baggy's and go over to Whore Island for a bit. Libby and Marc are fighting/watching TV. Steph is super busy with some work but I go in and say hello anyway. We sing a country song together and then I go in Jess's room. We sit and catch up on how our lives are. Then I steal one of Ashley's granola bars and Jess has a 100 calorie snack. We turn off the light and play with her glow in the dark retainer!
Back down to my apartment. I said I'd be right back when I left Baggy's but everyone knew I wouldn't. I end up going back up 2 hours later. But everyone left.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Je vie pour le week-end
That title is for Baggy. I bet he feels so smart.
It's Saturday night.
The 4way is happening.
Maggie is coming to pick me up because I don't feel like taking the train.
I got up and ran 6 miles at 8 this morning, but took a long long nap so I shouldn't be passing out.
Tomorrow is the first day in two weeks that I have absolutely NOTHING planned and NOTHING to do and I plan to take full advantage of that.
Tomorrow I should have a full update of the 4way.
Maybe I'll take my camera?
I almost wrote Chapter 10 today.
In fact I did write "Chapter 10"
In the title line.
Then I changed my mind.
It's Saturday night.
The 4way is happening.
Maggie is coming to pick me up because I don't feel like taking the train.
I got up and ran 6 miles at 8 this morning, but took a long long nap so I shouldn't be passing out.
Tomorrow is the first day in two weeks that I have absolutely NOTHING planned and NOTHING to do and I plan to take full advantage of that.
Tomorrow I should have a full update of the 4way.
Maybe I'll take my camera?
I almost wrote Chapter 10 today.
In fact I did write "Chapter 10"
In the title line.
Then I changed my mind.
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