Walking home from work today, we passed a homeless man with a large open bag of Cheetos.
"That's my favorite homeless man," Maggie told me as we approached him. Before I had a chance to ask why, the man dumped the entire bag of Cheetos on the ground. And you should know, the bag was pretty much full. Mind you, he was not trying to feed birds or animals or anything. He just walked up to a fence and gingerly dumped all the Cheetos out. Why would a homeless man sprinkle the sidewalk with Cheetos?
"He wasn't hungry. He didn't want the rest," you might say. But if that's what you are saying, then you have obviously missed the part where I said he's homeless. Furthermore, there were two other homeless men standing not three feet away from him, who probably would have gladly eaten them. My only guess is that he thought by dumping the Cheetos he was in fact planting a Cheeto Tree, which would in turn produce even more Cheetos. Guess we'll find out come Spring.
If that wasn't enough for one day, there was a naked man off the Belmont stop. Completely naked, in front of the turnstiles, shouting at people.
"They took my shirt! It could happen to you!"
People are crazy.
*UPDATE*
Whoever Patty is, she's an idiot. Probably a lesbian with a name like Patty. And by the fact that her link was www.disney.com I'd have to assume she collects snowglobes, has bad teeth, and loves unicorns. Oh. And she probably writes fiction. So be sure to check her out...
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3 comments:
I convinced a friend to go up to a homeless man and offer him a sandwhich...she had never done this before, and I told her not to worry...they are usually greatful. She goes up to him, offers it to him, he asks, "what kind is it?" she says "cheese" He takes it from her, then throws it violently back at her saying "I aint no rat!" Hmmm u'd think HE was hungry...but apparently beggars can be choosers.
that story was the dumbest.
If I were homeless I'd only eat cake
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