Hawt Dawg

Seriously. What the hell. It's October 4th. It's Fall. I said...OCTOBER. Why...is...it...so....HOT?!?!? Don't get me wrong, I like summer weather just as much as the next person, and I'm certainly glad it's not snowing and there is no freezing wind tearing the skin off my face. But come on. 85 degrees in October? I want Fall weather already. Mother Nature has been a merciless bitch this year.

I think I wouldn't care so much about it being this hot still, but after spending the summer in a giant stone house with no air conditioning, that acted as an oven every day, I'm really looking forward to some cooler weather.

85 DEGREES! OCTOBER!

Don't you get it! This is a sign. First last year's hurricanes in Florida now Katrina and Rita...and an October heat wave in Chicago. The end is coming. We screwed up our planet. Greenpeace is laughing at us now. We're screwed. Things are gonna get worse and worse now. Didn't you see "The Day After Tomorrow?" No probably not. Well didn't you see the commercial at least? That shit is true. And now its happening. Why aren't the news people commenting on this? There's probably a conspiracy too. There's always a conspiracy.

I suggest you find out when your next HBO free preview weekend is so that you can watch "The Day After Tomorrow" as well. And study it. Survival skills. Very important.

The movie wasn't really that bad I guess. It was fun watching Tokyo and LA and NY get destroyed. But then it got boring. Crap about love and friendship and survival in the face of tragedy. Snooze. The dead girl from Mystic River was in it. And Jake Jellojiggler or Jellenhobble or whatever. You know the one. The one that looks exactly like Tobey Maguire. Speaking of conspiracies, does anyone else think that maybe he IS a clone? Tobey Maguire was really successful for about 9 seconds when Spider-Man came out. His people wanted to bank on that shit, so they made another Tobey. Slightly scruffier, a little edgier. Together Tobey and Jake could pull in millions. But then Jake learned what it was like to be human. Love and understanding and affection. And they lost him. And Kirsten Dunst bought him because he looked good with most of her clothes and her friends were starting to think she was kind of gay.

Anyway, moral of the story, the earth is ending and unless you see the movie with Tobey Maguire's scruffy clone then you have no chance of survival.