We'll miss you, Teddy

I really hate posting these obligatory "what I did over the weekend" posts. They always seem forced and kind of boring. Not my best work. Do you really care? Or is it narcissistic of me to believe that people want to read about what I did over the weekend? Oh, who am I kidding? You love it and you love me. Don't you? Please? Love me?

Well, let's start with Thursday night. Thursday started off with me not only wearing the legendary crabby pants, but also the crabby shoes, socks, belt, shirt, and underwear, which, incidentally, were certainly in a bundle. Then I decided that as much fun as sitting around doing nothing can be, I might as well try to enjoy myself. Which invariably led to going to get alcohol. The night was alright, I suppose. Wait...didn't I already talk about Thursday night? Shit. It was barely exciting enough to mention once, let alone bring it up again 4 days later.

Friday night was Steph's surprise party. Matt and I split a fifth of Skol, since that's pretty much what we always do, and Baggy had wine because he's french, and Jess drank everything because she's Jess, and Ashley probably had like a sip of Mike's Hard Lemonade. At midnight everyone who was 21 (besides me, I'm poor again) went to Bar Louie for drinks. I stayed and babysat the youngsters. I played them lots of music. Bad music that for some reason I was drunk enough to not only enjoy, but know all the words to. Cheers to Jenny on knowing all the words to "Dust On The Bottle," by the way.

Yesterday I got up and went out to lunch with Ashley and her mom and sister. I had to make sure that Ashley's mom was always on my right side and never my left. If you don't know why...oh who am I kidding everybody knows why at this point. Then I came back and went to the gym where I met up with Matt and Baggy. Then, since working out is good for your body, we quickly counteracted all of the lifting, rowing, and swimming by going to SLC. Speaking of SLC, I think my roommate has a problem. I think he's addicted. He's gone to SLC at least four times this weekend. I need to say something, I really do. Some sort of intervention. I can't watch him go down this road. It's like crack, that place is.

Last night we went to our friend Chris's in Oak Park for a party. Green Line is kind of a new experience for us. It was a fun party and everything, but the real adventure began afterwards. So, we were all under the impression that the Green Line ran until 2. Well, excellent. It certainly does run until 2. However, it runs west until 2. It runs east until....1:03. So we missed the train. Excellent. How the hell to we get back downtown from Oak Park without pawning our valuables to afford a cab ride home?

We take a cab to the nearest Blue Line is what we do. Excellent. Jenna calls for a cab, it will be there in five minutes. Five minutes later, the cab showed up. We run outside to the street and wave to him. He drives by. Fucker. So we go back in and call again. Now it's almost 2 and pretty soon the train station is closing and we will be forced to wait outside. Now, it's -6 degrees out, so none of us are really looking forward to that scenario. Call the cab company again, they say they'll send another. So a second cab comes and picks us up. Lucky for me, I got to sit in the front. I guess right away they guy was pissed that he had to move the newspapers, magazines, cups, empty food bags, shoe box, and god knows what else, so I could sit down. Then, we tell him we are picking up 2 more people. He is not happy. I wouldn't be happy either. But whatever, you're a cab driver. You lost and sense of ever feeling happy long ago, as soon as you had that extremely terrible picture taken of you that is now posted with all your information on the back of the driver's seat.

And he's a creep. And an asshole. And complaining that he could get a 2,000 dollar fine for putting six people in the cab. And also complaining that we should just have him drive us all the way back downtown. I need some clarification, sir. Do you want us out of the car as soon as possible so you don't get pulled over, or do you want to drive us all the way downtown so you can get more money? You can't have both. I'm too drunk to even listen to you complain anyway.

We get to the Blue Line.

Have you ever seen the movie "Alive?"

It's the amazing, true story of a Uruguayan rugby team's plane that crashed in the middle of the Andes mountains, and their immense will to survive and pull through alive, forced to do anything and everything they could to stay alive on meager rations and through the freezing cold. The only thing the team has riding on after losing so many of their good friends and family members is the slim chance of making it through alive and their faithfulness to God.

Waiting for the Blue Line last night? It was worse than that. It was terrible. My face was frozen, my fingers were numb, and it felt like my toes had frozen, broken off, and were just rolling around in my shoes. We waited a long time. A long time. I received my AARP card while waiting for the train. And it finally came. In the wrong direction. So we waited longer and longer. And just when we thought that all hope was lost, a divine angel ascended upon us (well, the CTA lady walked down the ramp) and told us the train was on its way. Ohhhh mercy.

So we got back in one piece. Alive. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.

We did have to eat Teddy though.

What, you don't know who Teddy is?

Well then I guess you won't miss him.