'Till Death Do Us Part

Signing up for AOL is a lifelong committment. It's not like getting a tattoo, or getting married, or having kids. AOL is something that is with you until you draw your last dying breath.

A couple of months ago, after smoking some bad crack, I decided to sign up for AOL. It was fine or whatever. First month was free and I planned on cancelled after that. About 3 days into my free month I decided that AOL was indeed pointless so I removed it from my computer. At the end of the month, I called the toll free number to cancel my account. The operator was very nice and had excellent phone presence. She clearly must like what she does. That's good, because I hate what she does. For being so friendly and helpful sounding, I figured cancelling AOL would be just as easy as signing up for it. It wasn't.

This lady was, in fact, so helpful, and so friendly, that instead of cancelled my AOL, she gave me another free month. I don't think I told her that I didn't even have the software on my computer anymore. I was on the phone for about 45 minutes, so I didn't care to. Give me another free month, fine, I'll call back again and cancel. I've been on the phone long enough.

I call again. The man I talked to was named Tyaldhaslhajweaawie and asked me if I "aosdjasntarkjadsakjhdakdawotp" or something. I don't know what he said. But he did understand me when I said the word "cancel." Now, I guess I was a day late in calling to cancel, and had already been charged for the month. Aeremdasdamtad said that he would credit my account for the month so that I didn't have to pay. However, he did not cancel my account. He said I was credited but have to call again next month to cancel it. He asked why I was leaving AOL. I said because I have free internet and don't have a job to pay for AOL. He gave me all sorts of links to websites on how to find jobs. He asked me what I was going to school for. He asked me where I was born. He asked me how I felt about women's reproductive rights. OK, he didn't ask that one, but at that point I would have been ready for it. Thanks for your help Owndaslkdaspt.

But I still had to call back a month later. And I did. And once again I had apparently called after I had been charged. Well, the operator told me I had already been charged, which is strange because my credit card statement didn't show me being charged for a good 3 or 4 days after I talked to her, but what can I do? She started the whole spiel, and basically I told her I didn't want to hear anything she had to say. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want a free month. I didn't want anything. I wanted my account cancelled. So do it.

And she did.

What a nice lady. It's those quality experiences in customer service that really make your day.