"I put my feet in the printer because I thought it was my shoes"

I haven't written in a while. Now I don't know what to talk about or where to even start. I suppose it really doesn't matter, since I will inevitably get sidetracked and go on some inane tangent anyway.

I should at least mention my night with Jess Dangles. That should take priority over everything else that I may want to talk about. You see, Jess and I really should have a babysitter. Because we are children. We talk like children and we act like children. And alcohol only exacerbates this tendency. Perhaps I should mention the picture we took of putting our heads in the oven. Or the somersaults off of her brothers bed. Or rapping to 50 Cent and L'il Kim's "Magic Stick" at least 50 times. And let's not forget the mad libs. Walking over to her place, I knew that drunk mad libs with Dangles was going to be the icing on the cake. Unfortunately, due to the extreme amount of disgusting, volatile, racist, crude, and utterly filthy language we chose to use in said mad libs, I don't feel that this is a good place to post them.

Orientation is going well. Getting up at six definitely sucks. By the time I get home, all I want to do is pass out. But if I pass out, then I won't be able to sleep at night. Hence, I won't be able to wake up for work at six. Speaking of Catch 22, I haven't read any of it since I quit My Pie. Guess I should start taking it to work, since the biggest challenge an OL has to face is how to survive an insanely long and boring amount of downtime.

I burnt popcorn earlier. Bad. It lit on fire. I didn't even have it in for the full time I was supposed to. Now the whole apartment smells like it, and I'm just glad I'll be in bed before Matt gets home from work and says "Who the hell burnt something?!?!?" Sorry Matt. I had to pretty much fill the entire popcorn bag with water to stop it from smoking. Then I just threw it out. In retrospect, I should have taken it to the dumpster. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20. And I'm not home all day tomorrow anyway.

My new addiction (aside from renting Veronica Mars on DVD) is reading boring people's blogs. I don't know what it is, but I can't get enough of certain people's journals. I'm sure you know the kind I'm talking about. The ones where you read and just can't quite figure out why the author is even bothering to record such tedious and inconsequential things. Like what color garbage bags they bought or how much their suitcase weighed at the airport. For some reason, despite the fact that these blogs are less interesting than reading my grandmas grocery list, or hell, even the phonebook, I am thoroughly entertained. I find it funny. I laugh out loud sometimes. And the worst part? Most of the blogs I read? I don't even know the people writing them...

And who do I think I am to sit here and say that my blog is any better?

Oh come on. Face it.

Lastly, I want to make sure everyone has heard, or is at least aware of, Fergie (from the Black Eyed Peas) and her new solo song, "London Bridge (Oh Shit)" I think this is important, because never in our lives, will we ever witness lyrical genius that can even be compared to lines such as "Grey Goose got my girls feelin loose, and I'm wishin' that I didn't wear these shoes" Generations before us their was John Lennon. And now? "London Bridge (Oh Shit)"

How come every time you come around
My London London bridge wanna go down
Like London London what? It's goin' down.

And you thought "My Humps" was a masterpiece.