New York is all upset because their Anti-Terrorism funding was cut by 40 percent. They are rallying to the government to get more.
Oh, shut up, New York. You had your moment. You think you're SOOOO COOL and you're going to get ALL the terrorist attacks because you're just so pretty and popular, don't you. Well guess what, you're not. You're old hat, my friend.
Do you remember the last attack? Terrorists hijacked planes and flew them into buildings. Those suckers have got panache. Do you really think they'd repeat themselves? I mean seriously. Would Julia Roberts wear the same dress to two award shows? Doubt it. They're going to be going for something new. Something cutting edge. Something...au courant. Like Omaha.
Look, you had September 11th, New York. You were totally in the spotlight. We cried with you. We prayed for you. We fought for you. And I mean, we totally still heart NY, don't get me wrong. It's just...we don't think you're a terrorist target anymore. And you know how America is. Always attracted to the bad boys. The ones who live dangerously. So you'll understand why money is going to Omaha for Anti-Terrorism efforts. If the government gave you 40 million more, what would you really do with it. Help wash your grandma's hair and go buy pencil cases, I imagine.
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6 comments:
This one time I wanted to go out, but it had just rained. So the ground was like totally wet and stuff. I really wanted to wear my cute new shoes. But instead I had to wear FLIP FLOPS! It was wet outside because it had just rained. I so wanted to wear my cute shoes! Ahh! It was so wet out because it rained earlier!
Reese Witherspoon TOTALLY wore the same dress that Lindsey Lohan did, AND that Julia Roberts wore EVEN BEFORE THAT!!
TRUE STORY.
ps, sometimes I try to guess the letters that are going to be the "word verification" part.
I never get it right.
one time I got close, but the bhs was a qrt
Remember when Julia roberts forgot to shave her pits at the Notting Hill premiere? Yuck!
YES!! Did you see Matthew McConaughey (sp?) eating on the red carpet!!??? Not classy, Matt, not classy at all.
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